spinnersending | Just Causes

Just Causes

"Just Causes"
Who: Severus Snape & Remus Lupin
When: 6th Year
Chapter One: Here
Chapter Two: Here

Tomorrow night, this place would be filled with a beast tearing at itself until his friends could arrive to keep it calm and keep it company. Tonight, there was a beast of a different sort in the room, one unnamed but just as fearful. Swallowing, it was all that Severus could do to clean up as bit before Remus's mouth was on him again.

He laughed. Laughed. Mostly this was directed at himself for being so pathetically stupid. All this time he could have been with Remus and instead, they had left each other feeling miserable over misunderstandings.

Severus was quiet. Where they were going to do, he wasn't quite sure but he wanted to find out!

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Severus was not thrilled by the way that Remus kept groaning, but he did not call him out on it. Fingers, colder than Remus's skin, settled on the boy's chest. "Hadn't plans t' go 'nywhere, t' be 'onest," he murmured, the heat of his breath a direct opposition to the way the rest of his touch felt.

Severus had fleeting moments with Remus, all of which had to be secretive. There was no way, no way in any of the planar levels of existance, that Severus would give up what little he had.

"Magical wounds... I'm sure I can figure ou' a way t' tend 'em." Well, he did like challenges.

Remus took a sharp breath when he felt the other's cold fingers on his chest. It was replaced by Severus' breath and Remus took his hand in his. "Knowing you, I wouldn't be surprised at the least. It's just... complicated doesn't even describe it. Muggle remedies do nothing and anything magical, well they can alleviate the pain, but the body needs time to heal. It's a curse, Severus. It isn't meant to be fixed. Or at least have an easy fix." He said as he rolled over slightly.

It still pained him to talk about. He was resolved to the fact, that happened years ago. But he'd lost hope in any cure for lycanthropy or his scars. Wolfsbane was one thing, but this was entirely different. It was just easier to close his emotions off altogether than get his hopes up.

Severus was more idealistic in his abilities. Nothing was impossible. They were wizards, how could anything be impossible? Severus kept his thoughts to himself.

Remus needed to calm down. Nap. Simply be still.

And Severus would let him. It was just hard to know where to place his body so he wouldn't hurt the other boy. "Tell me 'bout yer parents," he murmured, changing the topic. "'Ardly know much 'bout you."

He turned his head back to Severus and smiled. "Well, I'm a halfblood. M'dad's a Wizard and Mum's a Muggle. We live near London. My mother's a writer and my father helps run businesses, Muggle and Wizarding. I get my love of books from my mother. They met at a bookstore when she was in college. It was a happy life." He smiled fondly despite the sadness in his eyes.

That was all before Greyback. They didn't need to say anything, Remus saw the worry. He knew they were only together for him and that both had aged so much. He didn't like it either. But he left that out. Severus didn't need to hear about that bad stuff. He lived through his own family problems.

Severus watched the curve of Remus's lips as he spoke, sinking into his words and his voice. It was comforting to hear about happy homelives. He knew better, however, than to be absolutely jealous of Remus. he had been bitten at a young age. His childhood had been cut short.

The cool fingers on Remus's chest moved across his body so that Severus could entwine them with his. He would meet them soon. Remus's parents.

The thought did not frighten him.

"A writer...that's brilliant. What does she write?" Not that he'd ever pick up a muggle book. He just loved to read.

Remus turned to press his head against Severus'. His fingers soon laced with the other teen's and he squeezed lightly, giving him a small smile. "She writes essays and reviews mainly. She's got a few books out, but that's not what pays the bills." He said, thinking. "She gardens a lot. I think she wanted me to get into herbology a bit more than I have. Dad's proud. He said I'd be a great Auror, but well the Ministry's got laws against halfbreeds working there."

He shrugged lightly again and scratched at his face. He was no closer at deciding what he wanted to be. He didn't really have that many options.

"Things change." Severus knew that to be untrue, actually. So many things had remained pathetically the same. Each year, the only thing that Severus could look forward to was a hell of a lot more pain and the need to keep his mask on tighter.

Well. Not so. Not with Remus.

The butting of their heads always had such a way of calming him. Severus shifted, settled in and closed his eyes as Remus's breath washed over him.

"You're..." It was hard to compliment someone. He so rarely did it. "Competent."

Remus mused lightly at that. It was something incredibly simple and not a complete compliment, but coming from Severus it was a lot. His lips met the other boy's again, softly.

"I'm glad you have faith in me, but it's not my intelligence up for debate. And with things happening outside of Hogwarts. Well it's only going to get more dangerous." He said, hiding the fact that he truly was scared to face his future.

Well they had that in common, didn't they? Severus's only stable -- and that was up for debate -- connection with the outside world was steeped in the 'things' that Remus mentioned happening outside of those walls.

Severus was seduced by the owls he received about them...though since he'd met Remus, he had been thinking more of the things he could accomplish with the other boy.

Animagi spells, a patronus! Remus was his muse and lucky charm.

"The world is dangerous already. Fact of the times. You're in the classes you need to be an auror. Dumbledore will get you in."

He'd heard about the Wizards going missing, the speculations going about Knockturn Alley. They all said something was coming, and it was big. Remus didn't like it either. The Marauders had recently started talking about it. Sirius feared the worst about his family.

"Dumbledore can't change the laws. It's that blasted Umbridge woman. She's set any halfbreed relations back centuries. And not just with werewolves, centaurs, too. They already don't trust us." Remus shook his head. "I trust Dumbledore. I know he'll help, but even he isn't a miracle worker. Of anyone out there, I know that best."

Severus couldn't stand the pain in Remus's voice. This conversation was over. Even though they rarely spoke about themselves, their relationship was based less off of who they were outside the collection of touches they gave each other and more on who they were here and now.

In the very impossible present. Severus gently kissed the underside of Remus's chin and changed the subject rather abruptly, discussing different facets of one of the spells they were learning in charms and how he was trying to reimagine it for more practical use as a hex.

It was a lighter conversation and Remus was grateful for the change in topic. Especially about the one on hand. They continued to talk until Remus noticed the time. He moved slowly, but he knew he had to get back.

"I don't think I'll be able to get away from the Marauders this weekend. They'll be all over me about the full moon. But Monday? Maybe we can work on homework during lunch and after dinner we can work on your Animagus. It's been awhile." Remus said as he put his robe back on.

Lunch was almost over and Remus knew Severus had other classes and the James and Sirius had a period off. He needed to make it back the boys' dorm room before they did.

Severus kept as much of his emotions in check as he could. It was hard to shield his eyes. The hiding did not bother him as much as the loneliness did. It was for his own good, he knew this, if Black or Potter got wind of what they were doing, Remus would be put in a bad position. Handjobs did not replace years of friendship.

If there had to be a choice, Severus knew he would not be it. "All right."

What else could he say? He knew better than to protest. It was unfair. It was unbelievably unfair. But so was everything else in his life.

"Monday is fine."

Truth was, he'd already chosen Severus. He knew the moment that he kissed the other boy the first time, back at the floor of the Shrieking Shack that he chose him. Remus just couldn't leave his old life behind. All he wanted was to be wanted and accepted and he feared his friends wouldn't if they knew. Sirius especially.

And it pained him the way Severus looked up at him. Remus saw the hurt. Leaning over the bed, Remus pressed himself to the other boy and kissed him. It was both longing and hard, a kiss meant to last the two of them two days. He ran a hand down Severus' body as he did so, memorizing ever inch his skin made contact.

Severus held on to Remus, well aware that his fingers were clutching the side of his robes so tightly tht he actually caused his hands to tingle from lack of blood. It was all right, he decided. This would hold him over.

((Contined here: http://spinnersending.livejournal.com/1636.html ))

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Just Causes

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