Just Causes

[spinnersending]

"Just Causes"
Who:  Severus Snape & Remus Lupin
When: 6th Year
Chapter One:  Here
Chapter Two: Here


Tomorrow night, this place would be filled with a beast tearing at itself until his friends could arrive to keep it calm and keep it company.  Tonight, there was a beast of a different sort in the room, one unnamed but just as fearful.  Swallowing, it was all that Severus could do to clean up as bit before Remus's mouth was on him again.

He laughed.  Laughed.  Mostly this was directed at himself for being so pathetically stupid.  All this time he could have been with Remus and instead, they had left each other feeling miserable over misunderstandings.

Severus was quiet.  Where they were going to do, he wasn't quite sure but he wanted to find out!

Comments

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus was not going to comment that the whole thing was his own fault. If he'd told the other boy he liked him, actually trusted him and told him his secret, then who knows where'd they'd be? If he didn't give in to Sirius crawling into bed with him. If things hadn't escalated. There were a lot of things that contributed. Remus just swallowed.

"It's okay, mate, really. Besides you've got a bird now, so I'm sure you're happy." Remus said as he offered his best fake smile that he could possibly muster up. The pain was still in his eyes though.

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"A--" Sirius looked confused for a second and then laughed, arm around Remus's shoulders. "Yeah, that I do. Let's play it by ear tomorrow. If the wolf still wants to eat me, I'll hang out in the tunnel. If you look about ready to munch on yourself, I'll head out. And if last month was a fluke because-- Well, then we play tag like usual."

Sirius grinned, pulling Remus back inside the common room and up the stairs. He slipped into his own bed after that, though he seemed rather open to allowing Remus to come in with him if he wanted considering how he left a gap in the curtains to his bed where Remus's was.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus headed to bed. He stripped his clothing off, found a fresh set of sleep trousers, and was all set for climbing into his own bed when he just happened to look over at Sirius' bed.

He told himself it was just to make sure that Sirius was alright. For their friendship. Right. Sirius had a girlfriend. He wouldn't jeopardize that. No way. Remus was just going to crawl in there and make sure his best mate was okay with everything. His pheromones had nothing to do with it. At all. Not even a little.

Remus laid next to Sirius and looked up. He knew this was a bad idea. Why was he there? And yet, he couldn't pull himself away and retreat back into his own bed. No, he was there now.

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Sirius's eyes were dark as he lifted a hand to Remus's cheek the moment that the werewolf came into bed with him. He watched him, carefully, and then lifted his head as if to kiss him.

He was careful. Slow. Remus could back away if he needed to. Sirius's lips pressed against the side of Remus's mouth. Brief. Strangely tender for Sirius.

He was trying.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

He didn't move. He couldn't move. Remus was frozen solid in place. He could feel how clammy his hands suddenly felt. He took a slow breath out. He still couldn't move though. He could still feel Sirius against him.

"Sirius..." Remus objected, though he still did not move. "What about--"

And the words fell from his mouth. He swallowed sharply. And when he did finally move, those were not his hands clutching at Sirius, almost half desperate for him. For what? He didn't know. He just couldn't shake this feeling.

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Sirius half-laughed under his breath and shook his head. "Made up," he muttered, an explination as to his supposed girlfriend no one bothered to ask him much about and who didn't seem to have a name.

He let his head fall back on the pillow as he gazed up at Remus. Sirius could feel Remus's need. His own curiousity about it led him into his own need. Fingers, calm and sure, touched his lower lip before his mouth followed suit again.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

"You were fighting?" Remus asked, before it clicked. Sirius made the whole thing up. The girl and everything. Remus didn't know what to say about that. It sort of made things worse. He honestly worried about his mate.

And then once again his lips were captured by Sirius. He swallowed hard. He laid there frozen again. He didn't know what to do. Regardless of the fact that the imaginary girl clearly brought up some feelings, Remus once again thought of Severus. It was like his heart had sunk. He couldn't explain any of this even if he tried.

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When the second kiss brought no response, Sirius sighed against Remus's lips and tucked a strand of hair behind the werewolf's ear.

"I'm sorry, mate," he whispered. "I understand. Just because you're not interested doesn't mean I'm gonna be angry. We're still great mates, aren't we?"

Sirius was, under the strong, uncaring exterior, just as lonely as Remus. He came from a terrible family that did not love him. He over compensated as a result. His only concern, right now, was keeping Remus as something.

"Don't hate me, Moony."

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus finally turned, feeling the other's neediness. "Merlin, Sirius. It isn't that. Are you kidding? It is taking everything in me not to react. I've fancied you since third year and you never even noticed. Or didn't care. But now, now after all this time." Remus said all at once. He took a breath and rubbed his face with his hand. "It's so complicated, Sirius. I never meant for it to get like this. And it's all my fault."

If he weren't a werewolf, he wouldn't have this heightened sense of emotions. If he didn't have that then his mates wouldn't be affected. Then neither Severus nor Sirius would both be attracted to whatever it is Remus was feeling. He was doing it to the both of them.

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Sirius sat up and tugged the curtain closed, the murmured quietus spell from his lips in an instant to keep the others from hear. "Talk to me," he said, taking Remus's hand. He rubbed his thumb along his palm towards his wrist in a very calming way. "What's so complicated?"

Other than having one very, very straight boy suddenly spouting his affection for him?

"Just took me awhile to see how it was I've felt is all. I'm not trying to make your life harder."

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus still laid there, nearly as stiff as a board. He was more afraid about moving. Like if he sat up, he'd spill his guts about everything and he couldn't. Even with the way Sirius was looking at him, he'd lose it forever if he knew.

He slowly shook his head. The momentary openness suddenly gone. "My life, Sirius. My life is exceedingly complicated, and you don't even know what you're feeling. You only come to me during the full moon. You're only affected by the fact that I can't control my own hormones and they're radiating off of me." He said.

It was the only explanation Remus could give for why his very straight friend could feel anything for him. Maybe if he accepted it, then Remus could go on with his life. He was used to being the lonely one. The one with all the secrets. The one they protected.

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At least that theory could give Remus some solice about Severus. Their time spent together had been most intense between full moons, when the pull of the magic that infused him was at it's least. That did not mean that Severus wasn't ferociously passionate...he'd proved to be two months in a row now the night before, giving into Remus and his own lusts, though they were not the only times.

Sirius just sort of blanked at Remus and frowned, eyebrows furrowing. "I'd like to think my feelings are my own," he muttered, letting go of Remus's hand.

But even then the wheels were turning behind Sirius's eyes. He knew it to be true.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry, Moony."

Ahhhhh!

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus let Sirius hand go, feeling his heart breaking as the other realized something he was only grasping at for an excuse. Even if it was or wasn't true, it still hurt. A lot. Remus clenched his jaw and swallowed before crossing his arms over his chest. Merlin, this hurt far more than he wanted to admit.

"It's not your fault, Sirius." His voice cracked slightly at the other's name. He couldn't even use the nickname. Not now. "If anything it's my own doing, so you have nothing to apologize for. I should have figured it out earlier."


ooc: Ack. So sorry. Friends sort of kidnapped me for a few days. Like practically literally. I didn't know about it and they just took me to New York with the clothes on my back.

<333

[spinnersending.livejournal.com]

As usual on the nights that Remus and he bothered with the room, Severus slept in a bed that smelled like the werewolf, waking up early to leave before the halls swarmed with students.

He had absolutely no idea about Remus's feelings for Sirius Black. That was for the best. Being second best, or the one that would have him, would have killed any progress he had made to be a better person.

Severus tried to catch up with Remus after one of their classes, a touch of concern in his eyes. "Is he letting you take the potion?"



((I'm glad you're all right!!! You were missed! Did you have fun?))

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

It actually wasn't second best. Remus continually chose Severus over Sirius. Part of Remus knew why, but another was the fact that he couldn't do it to Severus. The loneliness was mimicked in Severus, and Remus couldn't cause him pain like that. It's why it took him hours to fall asleep.

But morning came soon enough and he crawled out of Sirius bed and got ready for the morning. He managed to duck out of James giving him an odd look.

When Severus caught up to him later that day, Remus just shook his head. "It's not approved, yet." Was all he could muster. He was still down about the night before.


ooc: Oh, I did. Also, if you have AIM, my screen name is modernaurora. I could have IMed you on my phone while I was away to at least tell you "oh hai, afk for awhile".

[spinnersending.livejournal.com]

"Damn it," Severus said a bit too loudly, making their professor turn to give them a look and the Mauraders, overly protective of their werewolf during the days of the moon change, to glare slightly. Sirius was even about to take out his wand when James stopped him.

Severus ducked his head and lowered his voice.

"Listen, I can do it for you," he said, eyes peircing. "If you want me to, I can do it." Of course, he didn't know if there were side effects, he was just over confident in himself. "It'll only take me a few hours!"


((I'm usually on as hooknoil when not at work. And yes! That probably would have helped!))

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus looked up when the Marauders and the Professor looked at them. Drawing more attention to them wasn't good. Not when James Potter was starting to put two and two together. He just sort of swallowed and waiting for the rest to turn around.

Truth was he was feeling awfully guilty about everything. "It's fine." He muttered back, looking from Snape to the chalkboard. He was being moody again.

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Severus took a step back. He frowned, moreso than usual, and shrugged. "Fine, suit yourself," he muttered and turned back around.

Remus was moody and Severus positively itched for him. Every fiber of his being wanted the close by werewolf to touch him. But that? That'd be as good as suicide right now.

He didn't bother saying another word to the boy, even though he lingered just after dinner in the hall, hoping to catch him before he went to the Shack.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

After dinner, he sauntered out of the Great Hall. It was always like a last meal on the night of the full moon. He half suspected the staff got the house elves to make all his favorites, though he rarely actually ate. Especially that day of all days.

His face was drawn and he almost knocked into Severus. Despite the unending churning in his stomach, when Remus saw him, he still managed a small smile. "Hello." He said lightly, his face soon returning to its flat look.

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The others were coming, and despite Severus's aversion to touching him in public, he pulled the wolf down the hall and into an alcove before anyone could spot them.

It didn't occur to him that the Mauraders could feel him as Severus did. Moreso, perhaps, as they had been around him longer.

He didn't apologize for the rough handling, bu he did do exactly what he'd wanted to do all day, snogging him hard enough to bruise their mouths.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

To say Remus wasn't expecting that was more than an understatement. He felt his back collide with the stone column behind him. He groaned out, but before he got the chance to even say anything, Severus was all over him. He melted slightly, but could feel the need.

And for once he wasn't going to let Severus control this. Not when this was something not only the wolf needed, but he himself. Remus pushed back on Severus, knocking him into the other side of the alcove. And he was staying there. Remus pinned him there and captured his mouth and kissed back. It was far more aggressive than he'd ever kissed before, but his bones ached for this contact and he needed someone to think he was worth it. Remus wanted to be wanted.

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