Just Causes

[spinnersending]

"Just Causes"
Who:  Severus Snape & Remus Lupin
When: 6th Year
Chapter One:  Here
Chapter Two: Here


Tomorrow night, this place would be filled with a beast tearing at itself until his friends could arrive to keep it calm and keep it company.  Tonight, there was a beast of a different sort in the room, one unnamed but just as fearful.  Swallowing, it was all that Severus could do to clean up as bit before Remus's mouth was on him again.

He laughed.  Laughed.  Mostly this was directed at himself for being so pathetically stupid.  All this time he could have been with Remus and instead, they had left each other feeling miserable over misunderstandings.

Severus was quiet.  Where they were going to do, he wasn't quite sure but he wanted to find out!

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"Bloody hell, Moony!" Sirius was gentle as he took hold of Remus's shoulders and literally picked him up, bride style, to take him the rest of the way.

Sirius was quite strong. And warm.

He frowned a little as they passed the third years' landing. "You gonna tell me why you went ape shit yet? I think you tried to rip out my throat. Literally."

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

And that was why it was so hard to not lean into him. Remus didn't refuse the offer though. He was tired from the walk up from the Shack.

"You know I don't know what I do as the wolf." He said flatly, going into a fit of coughs again.

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"Right, yah. Sorry, mate," Sirius said, kicking himself in the ass metaphorically as he finished the progression upstairs. He laid Remus in his bed and snagged a hanky from nearby to wipe off his mouth. "You just kept running around and around. You tore up the table and clawed up the walls and then you absolutely massacred the bed upstairs. Blimey, Moony. If I even got close, you'd growl at me. Marking territory or something? I've never heard you howl like that either. You'd cry out and wait a minute and then do it again. It was awful."

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus laid back, trying not to have Sirius help him so much. He listened to him and just nodded. It clicked. It was all the places Severus had been: studying at the table, kissing him on the floor, and --in the bed.

"Do you remember the night before the full moon?" Remus asked sheepishly. He was afraid to bring it up, but it'd explain part of the hostility towards Sirius.

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Sirius seemed to balk slightly at the talk of what happened the night before the full moon. "Yeah," he finally said, looking down. "Moved too fast for you," he finally muttered, feeling embarrassed. "That why you were pissed off?"

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus sat up slightly and brought his knees to his chest as he sat there. It didn't explain everything, but he couldn't just tell him about Severus. That would make things worse. A lot worse. "Yeah, I guess, Pads." He shrugged, not really sure what to say. "I wasn't really pissed, I was hurt."

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Licking his lips, Sirius looked down at his large hands. "I was just tryin' to help," he murmured before laughing quietly. "Thought I'd do some good and..." He trailed off. "Sorta been waiting for it. To see if you'd ever wanna and..." He shrugged a little. "My fault. Ought to have asked, right? Instead of just guessin' wrong."

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

He hugged his knees closer. "Yeah, I guess. I mean nearly jumping me when you're drunk isn't the right way to do. I just thought you cared about me more than to just want to use me for one night." Remus started picking a frayed string on his trousers, unable to look Sirius in the eye.

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"Use..." Sirius wiped that large hand down his face. He never wore the uniform quite right, sleeves rolled up, large leather cuffs on either wrist. The hand resting over his mouth had two large pewter rings adorning it. His tie was loose. Top two buttons of his shirt undone. "Sorry, mate. Gave you the wrong impression. Wasn't interested in a one night stand with one of me best mates. Thought'd be more... Guess the firewhiskey hadn't helped. Prongs an' I got carried away bettin' who could hold more before puking. I won."

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

"More?" Remus repeated slightly confused. It was confusing enough having a naked Sirius in his bed two weeks ago, but was he now asking Remus out?

He bit his lip. It was something he'd wanted for years, but with how brash Sirius was, with how carefree he was, it wasn't a safe bet. Even with everything Remus had with Severus (and not to discount it, because it was important to him), Sirius showed a different side of him that night. Regardless if he was drunk or not. There was a whole darker side to Sirius that Remus really did not like.

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Sirius had been getting worse. More reckless. It hadn't just been that night with Remus. The 'joke' with Severus was telling. How brutal he had been as well. It had stopped being 'pranks' a long time ago. Severus was genuinely afraid of him. A good portion of those scars on his pale skin probably had been at his hand.

Sirius rubbed the back of his neck and didn't say anything.

"I'm not queer," he said. "I like birds just fine. But I fancy you. Maybe I am queer. Just how it is, right?" He snorted. "Sorry, Rem. I am.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus knew deep down about it, too. It was only now that he was realizing how very serious it was. The more problematic thing was that Sirius never listened to Remus anyway. Neither did James. Being a Prefect was utterly wasted on Remus.

"I wasn't saying you were. I'm not either. I like girls, too. I just don't really date or anything. It's a little complicated." Not that Sirius didn't know, but Remus wasn't entirely sure what Sirius was after. Was this just another game to get him into bed?

[spinnersending.livejournal.com]

He really didn't think that far. Sirius was looking for stability now that he'd run out of anyone else. The girls had gotten wise about him. Love em, leave em. No one could bring themselves to hate him, though. It was his nature. A nature that was so very troubled.

"That's what I'm saying!" Sirius said, grinning as he stood up to face Remus. "That's why it's brilliant. We know each other. You've got my secrets. I've got yours. Shagging is just a plus, isn't it? Mates first, right? That's what important?"

He looked desperate. Or just so sad. It was hard to tell.

Sirius sighed and went to sit in the window, fingers against his lips again. "Hey, listen, let's forget about it, all right? Still great mates, you an' me. The wolf doesn't care much about me, and I'm not gonna lose friendship with you...so... Just... I'm just sorry, Remus. I'm gonna go see if I can figure out where Pete went off to."

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

And that look broke his heart. "Ugh, well if you want to come by later, I'll just be in bed." He hoped that would cheer him up, even if he knew he was playing with fire.

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Remus had no idea.

While Remus dealt with a would be suitor, Severus tried to ignore the letter that had been on his desk for over a week now. It was from his father. He knew that sloppy handwriting anywhere.

With Remus back, and their bond or whatever they had was in tact, he decided to take a peek and see what the old man had to say. He was expecting something to do with money and instead found something else entirely.

He crumbled up the paper and went to see the Headmaster... He would need to take his leave for a few days of Hogwarts.

The next morning, after Remus woke up beside the dog, he would find for the first time in over a month Severus at the far table not actually looking at him.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus kept looking up, expecting to see him looking over. But he didn't. He tried several times to the point where the others may have noticed. But Severus had his back to him. That was unlikely.

He waited until after class, telling his friends he had to ask Slughorn a question about the classes he missed. It was a lie of course.

He stopped Severus by the elbow and gave him a smile. "You alright, mate?"

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Severus actually looked startled to see Remus and was about to say something hurtful because he realized who it was. His forehead smoothed out. He was not the sort of person to spill the beans about what was bothered him. "Have to take a trip tomorrow. Will be a few days. Not too pleased about having to go home for that long." He looked over Remus, glad to see he was standing up straighter. "You wanted to copy my potions notes?"

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus put the pieces together. All those scars on his chest. He just nodded. "Well if you want to meet at the Shack after dinner. I can give your notes back to you then." He offered a smile. This was clearly just an excuse to get him there alone.

He felt better. Only managed to cough once that day. He'd stopped by the Infirmary to get checked out. Pomfrey gave him some sort of drought to help. It also helped ease the pain. He wasn't completely better, but not quite the wreck he was the previous day.

[spinnersending.livejournal.com]

Severus didn't manage a smile but he did nod. "Yes, right. Sounds fair to me," he said, handing over the notebook easily enough before he moved passed Remus and left the room.

That night couldn't come fast enough, but he schooled his face for an hour leading up to their meeting to try and calm down. He didn't want Remus to worry. He had enough going on.

He was, for the first time in his life, a little bit late. He found Remus up in the bedroom, most of the rest of the Shack still a terrible mess.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus skipped on dinner, not hungry. He had too much work to catch up. Not that his teachers didn't understand, but he was determined to try and let it ruin his life that much. After all, in two weeks he had to go through it again. And things were only getting messier for him.

He arrived early, but couldn't fathom cleaning. Not when he know what he did and why he did it the night of the full moon. He followed the trail of blood back up to the bedroom and sat on the bed.

It wasn't too much longer before Severus appeared. He looked up and smiled. "Hey." He offered, scooting over. He hoped he'd come sit by him. "Ugh, your notes are in my bag."

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Severus climbed up on the bed, but only after he took his notes back. He was a bit protective of his work. Hugging it to his chest, he turned to face Remus, one leg curled beneath the other.

"You look tired."

As tired as Severus himself felt.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus laid next to him and smiled a bit at that. It was good to have pride in one's work, Remus knew that. Remus shifted on his side lightly and nodded at his words.

"Yeah, didn't sleep much last night." He commented. Remus kept expecting the big shaggy dog to turn into Sirius.

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Severus tipped over as well, hands to himself for almost a full minute before his fingers snagged the grey jumper of the other's uniform. "Take a nap," he offered, wriggling closer and closer until the curve of his nose was situated against Remus's ear.

Nothing could calm him like Remus could. Severus held the other boy's arm to his chest and closed his own eyes. Remus made his head stop spinning.

"What do you do in the summer?" he asked, almost too suddenly. They still had two months of school, but with their track record, that was not a lot of time together.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus laid back, closing his eyes at Snape's words. He let out a soft breath when he felt the his nose against his own ear. Remus pressed himself against Severus and kissed his neck lightly. Laying like this was calming, something he needed.

"I usually just go home. James usually invites us for a week at the Potters, but I don't know if that'll happen this year." Remus said. There was trouble at the Black residence the last time he was there. Sirius was talking about leaving for good. Potter willingly volunteered to house him. Not that Remus wouldn't, but James beat him to the punch.

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