Better Than You

[spinnersending]

"Better Than You"
Who:  Severus Snape & Remus Lupin
When: 6th Year
Chapter One:  Here


A pass to the Restricted Section was even easier than Severus thought it might be.  Dumbledore gave it to him without even glancing up, saying that he was looking forward to the results.  Severus could only imagine that he meant the Wolfsbane Draught paper he was going to submit, but who knew with the old wizard?  Dumbledore was not a man anyone ever underestimated.

When Remus did not show, Severus noticed and wrote it off.  That brief connection and near friendship had been enough to make him even more bitter about the whole idea of friendship and turned him off on it entirely.  Stupid git.  As if he might have actually found things in common with a creature like that!  Good riddance!

Too bad his breakthrough potion was going to help the mangy sod!  Severus groused as he found the book he was looking for and brought it back to the table.  This was not a potions book at all, but one on the animagi.

Comments

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Severus snorted. "Evidently yer mate don't seem to understand there's more tah life then being a right git." Severus didn't even think about his accent, let alone his speech patterns. A poor boy from the north with a father like Tobias Snape, had grown up with all sorts of colorful language. He just had a mask to wear here. Cold. Indifferent. Uncaring... And as posh as possible.

He emulated Lucius, or at least tried to, in everything but personality. And popularity.

He thumbed through another chapter and then glanced up again. This time, he caught Remus looking at him with that silly grin on his face. Up went his eyebrows.

"'Ow's tonight fer a go then?"

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

"He just wants me to be happy. And he thinks someone'll actually have me." He muttered the last part. Dating was more than a sore spot for him.

However Snape's accent made him smile. "I'm up for it if you are. I've got Prefect privileges as well." One good thing about being a Prefect was the curfew extension. Mind you, it was mainly used for Patrolling, but since he was a werewolf, he never had to do it. Too bad he didn't have the map. That would have also helped.

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Three hours later and the darkness of the Shrieking Shack was filled first with Patronuses playing around a broken, heavily scarred table which Snape had charmed to be useful for a little while and then by floating balls of light courtesy of a spell they'd learned a few weeks ago. Sometimes school still came in handy. It made the Mundane a little bit less so.

Though he was more comfortable with the book aspect of things, Severus was little Remus talk him through some basic meditations. It was better than working alone, and despite what this awful little house meant for the werewolf, Severus' constant grousings ought to have been enough to keep his mind off of it.

"I am clearing my mind!" Not true. He was thinking about what it might be like to fly without a broom. That little smile of his gave it away. It was hard for a perpetual thinker to stop thinking.

He sighed and sat back.

"What about you? Didn't you try to do it? Become an animagi? Aren't you curious to find out what your form'd be?"

gunna be out for a few hours

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

"You're not clearing your mind. It's hard, I know, but you have to." Remus said, pressing his hands on the table before he remembered where he was.

He didn't like this room. There was a long streak of blood in the corner from two months ago when he tried to run free. Only the wards stopped him so he ended up attacking himself. He didn't remember any of it. Only briefly waking up in a pool of his blood.

"I already am an animal. I don't need a reminder of it." Remus said slightly more harsh than he meant it.

If I don't catch you tonight, I will tomorrow! :) Have fun!

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Severus caught the tone, but pressed on just the same. "Maybe you'd be a rabbit," he suggested. "Or...a cow." That thought made him blanch. "'h Merlin, wot if I end up as a cow? Can yah change forms after? You'd still eat me!"

That last little bit slipped right on out there, and Severus, not even realizing, did nothing to clean that up. This little trial for him had shifted from being a better wizard than Potter and Black to being mates with a werewolf.

He rapped his fingers on the table. You will not be hamburger, he chanted mentally in his mind. You will not be sodding hamburger, Severus Snape!

He was not doing much of anything save for worrying, but that did not stop two long red fox ears from slipping out from his hair, replacing his own unseen by his unkempt hair. The white tufts at the end were telling.

He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned at Remus's bemused expression. "Yer not imagining me as a side of beef now, are yah!?"

back. saw inception.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus just shook his head. "You're not going to be a bloody cow, Severus." He rolled his eyes, looking away for a mere moment.

And in the time it took him to look away and back again, there were clearly ears poking out from his dark hair. Remus stared. And then his eyes got wide. He didn't even hear what the Slytherin said, something about meat. He walked around the table to face Snape.

Normally, he wouldn't do what he was about to, but he wasn't sure if what he saw was real. He softly brought his hand up to Severus's ear. But he didn't touch it. No, instead he pushed some hair behind his ear. And sure enough, there were fuzzy fox ear. "Bloody freaking hell, Severus." He said as he grabbed his hand and made him feel his ear.

Awesome movie!

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Severus had balked when Remus pushed himself into his personal space. It was fine when Severus did it, he had the control then, but with the back of a rickety chair behind him, there was no moving away.

His hair certainly looked limp and oily, but it was simply baby fine and ultra shiny. A different shampoo or maybe a good brushing could do him wonders. At least it wasn't disgusting to touch. In fact, it's softness was rather pleasant, even against Remus's large fingertips.

Severus nearly pulled his hand out of the other boy's before his hands contacted--

"W-What did you do!" Certainly it wasn't him! Remus had already proved he could cast charms silently. "Very funny! Big laugh we're all havin' aren't we?" His ears even flattened expressively before he dropped his hand and curled his fingers in Remus's jumper. "Change it back."

omg, it was so good.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus kept his hand there and just gawked. His hazel eyes wide, still in shock. "Mate, that ain't me." The Gryffindor said in awe. "I wouldn't do that to you. That's too cruel."

One thing Remus wasn't was cruel. He knew what it was like to feel happiness being ripped out from under him. He couldn't do it to another person.

Urgh, bed for me. :) Shall reply in the morning!

[spinnersending.livejournal.com]

The ears swiveled towards the sound of Remus's voice, flicking lightly when his breath contacted them. Severus went through every reverse spell he knew, first without his wand and then, to try and control his energy, with it. Nothing changed.

There was a reason underaged wizards did not practice to become animagi on their own. Hormones aside, they simply were not disciplined enough to control it. Peter had had a tail for days while he was learning. At least that had been easily hidden.

Fox ears? Impossible!

"I can't go out like this!" Severus hissed, ears drooping.

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Remus thought. They had to do something. No one could know about what they were doing. It would just open everything. This wasn't good.

"Calm down. You have to remain calm in order to get them to change back." Remus said as he dropped his hand and put both hands on his shoulder. "Look into my eyes, breath, and think about changing them back. Think about your ears. Your human ears."

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Severus nodded quickly. He tried not to panic. What would that do except make it all the worse? He did as he was told, unsteady gaze on Remus's tawny shaded eyes. It took a few moments of rapid breathing and clenching fists to get him to settle down.

The intensity of it fluctuated from piercing to staring before Severus calmed noticeable and he was left gazing at the startlingly brilliant hue of his shifting eyes. As the glows of light situated themselves in the air, Remus's eyes seemed to twinkle.

Severus's mind emptied. He was distracted by what he was doing and, with hardly a thought, his ears returned to normal.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

The minutes seemed to pass like hours. He didn't dare check Severus' ears, yet. His own head was pounding into his ears. His nerves were on fire. Remus went back to biting his lip and he caught his hand leaving Severus' shoulder, but he put it back.

He chanced a look at the other's ear, taking a quick look. He didn't see the tufts of red and white fur, and immediately, a look of relief crossed his face. Although the fox ears were rather cute, he wouldn't voice that opinion.

"They're back. You're fine." He said, hands still on Snape's shoulders. He let out a soft sigh. Looking back into his dark eyes.

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Severus didn't answer. He didn't move at all save to refresh his eyes with a blink of long lashed lids every few seconds. He was lost, not because his mind had blanked -- which was a delicious state to be in when his mind usually buzzed with all sorts of fears and straining thoughts -- but because Remus's eyes were mesmirizing.

Even the brief moment he had looked away hadn't broken the spell.

Slowly, very slowly, Severus's fingers unhooked from the front of Remus's jumper. The imprint of them lingered where he stretched out the wool blend. Tearing his eyes away was another story indeed.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

His hazel eyes widened again. Remus didn't know why Severus was looking at him like that, but he suddenly found himself glued to that spot. He was utterly abashed and attempted a smile, though he was still softly biting his lip. His cheeks tinted a soft pink. Although he wasn't pale as Snape, Remus had little to no color so the blush was apparent.

The thing was he was about to do... something. But he was so taken with Severus looking into his eyes, he forgot what he was going to do. It was like he was frozen in place.

He felt Snape's fingers release from his sweater. And he found himself that much closer to the Slytherin.

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Nearly nose to nose, Severus sucked in a breath. A few of the globes of light winked out from lack of concentration, allowing the waning moon's light to dash itself through dusty, cob wedded windows.

Molasses and oil coated his limbs, or at least, that's what Severus felt like. His hand moved across his chest, fingers curling around Remus's wrist on the opposite shoulder. The idea had been to pry him off. At first.

And now he wasn't so sure what he was doing until his lips moved. "I'm all right," he whispered, repeating what Remus had said. His ears were fine.

*stared at that icon for way too long*

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

His eyes flicked for a moment on his wrist, but he didn't move that one - the one he was touching. He lowered the other hand though. Remus couldn't move the hand that Severus was touching. It just wouldn't.

He took a hard swallow as his fingers dug into his shoulder. It wasn't hard, but it seemed it was now he who was clutching. His mouth was dry and as he spoke, Remus found his breath stuck in his throat. It took him a few seconds and a few seconds to realize what he said. "Yeah." was all he managed to whisper back.

He clenched his jaw, biting down. What was happening to him and why was Severus eliciting this reaction from him?

And wrong one! But now matter. Yes. Very pale is he!

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Eventually, Severus managed to close his eyes. Remus's spell had broken, though the tremble in his hand and the quickening of his breath could only mean one thing. He swallowed hard. Only here, in the strange darkness, in a room that had been torn to pieces by a crazed and hurting werewolf, could Severus feel so-- Enamored.

This feeling was the same feeling Lily Evans use to give him when she put band-aids on his cuts or made him little cloth dolls that were suppose to represent them both so he'd remember he had a friend.

Severus cracked, pressing his forehead upwards against Remus's. It wasn't bad to want a connection, was it? And he certainly had one with Remus. No denying it now.

"Maybe...we should just try again tomorrow. Don't want a tail, do I..."

Awe. I'm actually about that pale, so whatevs.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

He leaned his forehead back. He was trying to fight this feeling now. Remus didn't know why it was there. He was trying to pretend it wasn't there for days. He'd convinced himself it was because was trying to help Severus. But he wanted his touch. And the way he looked at him.

"I can't tomorrow. James made me promise I'd spend a whole day with them. I'm-- I'm sorry. But you've got all of Saturday since they've got Quidditch practice and Peter's got tutoring in Ancient Ruins." He responded, a touch of guilt in his voice.

Oh I'm not that bad! You must get burned just thinking about the sun!

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There was a bit of pressure in his gut as their noses touched. If Remus hadn't said he couldn't see him tomorrow, Severus might have done something reprehensible and absolutely wrong. He swallowed now, pulling back. He didn't care how it looked.

"Right. Saturday then." Severus shoved his books back into his satchel. He couldn't and wouldn't risk looking at Remus again. His cheeks were bright red, splotched across his face. Getting out of here? That was his number one goal at the moment. Even if going alone was rather terrifying. "I'm.. I think I'll head back. Do want to hand that paper in to the Headmaster and..." He cleared his throat, perhaps on the verge of saying something else, but thought better of it and just cleared out.

Remus wouldn't have a chance to catch up with him. He really was that fast. The next day, however, Sirius had had enough of wayward Slytherin eyes heading towards their table. "It's...creepy. He's been staring at us all day."

Don't remind me. And oh, the freckles.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus wasn't going to try running after him. Not when he could barely think, breath, or move. He needed to stand there and regain control over his body. He stood in that place long after Severus left. Just thinking and going over those moments in his head over and over and over again.

The next day wasn't any better either. For as much as Severus was looking over, Remus was looking back. He blinked when Sirius disrupted his thoughts. "Let him be. If he does anything, I already know you probably have half a dozen things to get back at him with." He said, returning to his Transfiguration book. He did not want to get into now.

Awww! :(

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Sirius gnashed his teeth at Severus, making the pale skinned boy turn away just as Remus had moments before to read. "You're no fun, Moony," he grumbled, dropping his head on Remus's book like a cat might to get attention. The girls around them squealed in delight. No matter what Sirius Black did, he got attention. It seemed hanging all over his mates just made them giggle all the harder and Sirius's over affection probably stemmed from that.

Severus watched them act up and eventually leave the Great Hall before he shuffled up to his room, drawing the curtains, and casting his Patronus to keep him company -- and give him a bit of light -- as he read.

Saturday could not come fast enough, and though Severus would have denied any and all desire to see Remus, there was a reason he was wandering half listlessly through the halls. He told himself he wanted practice. More practice. He'd made ears sprout on the first time! He had to be close, right?

I don't mind it so much. At least I'm not orange.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

The following day was Saturday. Remus had some prefect duties in the morning and he finished that Transfiguration essay. He threw on another pair of ripped khakis, another worn sweater, and his Gryffindor robes. Most of Remus' clothes were all the same things: ripped, tattered, worn out, and old.

Remus headed to the Shrieking Shack, making sure the other Marauders weren't around. Slipping into the old building, he made his way to the room they were in the other day. The room they had gotten so close in. So close, it actually scared and excited him.

He pulled out the scroll of the book he had written for Severus the night before when he borrowed James' Invisibility Cloak and map. He'd made a pit stop after jinxing Filch's cat to bark. Potter would probably kill him if he knew what he'd done, but he wanted to do something nice for Severus.

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It didn't occur to Severus until the morning was more than half over that Remus probably aimed to meet him in that horrid place again. He was tired from roaming the halls and poking his nose into all of the place he had followed the Marauders about in over the previous year. He even went out to the Quidditch pitch, a bad idea considering how odd it was to have a Slytherin there at practice.

"I think that div fancies me," Sirius said after James pointed out that Snape was back and looking at them.

Prongs laughed. "Least someone fancies you, Paddy!"

"I'm going to have to jinx his tackle so he doesn't get any ideas--"

"Might like it."

"Oh, sick, Prongs!"

Severus hadn't heard any of it. He was already across the Scottish moor. Dodging the Willow, he scampered into the tunnel and arrived out of breath where Remus waited.

"You need a belled collar, Lupin," he grunted.

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Remus gave light smile. "Sorry. I just assumed we'd meet here again. If you want to go somewhere else, I'm alright with it. I just figured James and Sirius won't come here. And there's a lot of privacy." Not too mention it was the same place they'd almost-- no, he couldn't even think about it.

"I... ugh, copied some stuff for you. To make up for a lack of practice yesterday." He handed him the scroll. It was about four feet in length.

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It was hard to say 'thank you.' Harry than to even say he was sorry. Gazing at the scroll, he was actually somewhat angry about it. What gave Remus the right to be nice to him like that?

Severus had spent the night puzzling it over and had come up with no clues. He knew Remus's secrets, the important ones at least, but that didn't explain why Severus had started to like his company!

He scowled and took a seat, pulling off the ribbon the stare at the writing. "You didn't have to." His eyebrows knitted together. Still, it was brilliant. The amount of effort alone was staggering.

Severus rolled up the scroll again and pointed, weaponlike, at Remus.

"What is this you're doing, Lupin? You've friends! Is this some sort of bet?" Obviously, he'd come to one conclusion. No one liked him. Remus couldn't genuinely like him. So this had to be a trick.