spinnersending | Better Than You

"Better Than You"
Who: Severus Snape & Remus Lupin
When: 6th Year
Chapter One: Here

A pass to the Restricted Section was even easier than Severus thought it might be. Dumbledore gave it to him without even glancing up, saying that he was looking forward to the results. Severus could only imagine that he meant the Wolfsbane Draught paper he was going to submit, but who knew with the old wizard? Dumbledore was not a man anyone ever underestimated.

When Remus did not show, Severus noticed and wrote it off. That brief connection and near friendship had been enough to make him even more bitter about the whole idea of friendship and turned him off on it entirely. Stupid git. As if he might have actually found things in common with a creature like that! Good riddance!

Too bad his breakthrough potion was going to help the mangy sod! Severus groused as he found the book he was looking for and brought it back to the table. This was not a potions book at all, but one on the animagi.

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Nearly nose to nose, Severus sucked in a breath. A few of the globes of light winked out from lack of concentration, allowing the waning moon's light to dash itself through dusty, cob wedded windows.

Molasses and oil coated his limbs, or at least, that's what Severus felt like. His hand moved across his chest, fingers curling around Remus's wrist on the opposite shoulder. The idea had been to pry him off. At first.

And now he wasn't so sure what he was doing until his lips moved. "I'm all right," he whispered, repeating what Remus had said. His ears were fine.

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His eyes flicked for a moment on his wrist, but he didn't move that one - the one he was touching. He lowered the other hand though. Remus couldn't move the hand that Severus was touching. It just wouldn't.

He took a hard swallow as his fingers dug into his shoulder. It wasn't hard, but it seemed it was now he who was clutching. His mouth was dry and as he spoke, Remus found his breath stuck in his throat. It took him a few seconds and a few seconds to realize what he said. "Yeah." was all he managed to whisper back.

He clenched his jaw, biting down. What was happening to him and why was Severus eliciting this reaction from him?

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Eventually, Severus managed to close his eyes. Remus's spell had broken, though the tremble in his hand and the quickening of his breath could only mean one thing. He swallowed hard. Only here, in the strange darkness, in a room that had been torn to pieces by a crazed and hurting werewolf, could Severus feel so-- Enamored.

This feeling was the same feeling Lily Evans use to give him when she put band-aids on his cuts or made him little cloth dolls that were suppose to represent them both so he'd remember he had a friend.

Severus cracked, pressing his forehead upwards against Remus's. It wasn't bad to want a connection, was it? And he certainly had one with Remus. No denying it now.

"Maybe...we should just try again tomorrow. Don't want a tail, do I..."

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He leaned his forehead back. He was trying to fight this feeling now. Remus didn't know why it was there. He was trying to pretend it wasn't there for days. He'd convinced himself it was because was trying to help Severus. But he wanted his touch. And the way he looked at him.

"I can't tomorrow. James made me promise I'd spend a whole day with them. I'm-- I'm sorry. But you've got all of Saturday since they've got Quidditch practice and Peter's got tutoring in Ancient Ruins." He responded, a touch of guilt in his voice.

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There was a bit of pressure in his gut as their noses touched. If Remus hadn't said he couldn't see him tomorrow, Severus might have done something reprehensible and absolutely wrong. He swallowed now, pulling back. He didn't care how it looked.

"Right. Saturday then." Severus shoved his books back into his satchel. He couldn't and wouldn't risk looking at Remus again. His cheeks were bright red, splotched across his face. Getting out of here? That was his number one goal at the moment. Even if going alone was rather terrifying. "I'm.. I think I'll head back. Do want to hand that paper in to the Headmaster and..." He cleared his throat, perhaps on the verge of saying something else, but thought better of it and just cleared out.

Remus wouldn't have a chance to catch up with him. He really was that fast. The next day, however, Sirius had had enough of wayward Slytherin eyes heading towards their table. "It's...creepy. He's been staring at us all day."

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Remus wasn't going to try running after him. Not when he could barely think, breath, or move. He needed to stand there and regain control over his body. He stood in that place long after Severus left. Just thinking and going over those moments in his head over and over and over again.

The next day wasn't any better either. For as much as Severus was looking over, Remus was looking back. He blinked when Sirius disrupted his thoughts. "Let him be. If he does anything, I already know you probably have half a dozen things to get back at him with." He said, returning to his Transfiguration book. He did not want to get into now.

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Sirius gnashed his teeth at Severus, making the pale skinned boy turn away just as Remus had moments before to read. "You're no fun, Moony," he grumbled, dropping his head on Remus's book like a cat might to get attention. The girls around them squealed in delight. No matter what Sirius Black did, he got attention. It seemed hanging all over his mates just made them giggle all the harder and Sirius's over affection probably stemmed from that.

Severus watched them act up and eventually leave the Great Hall before he shuffled up to his room, drawing the curtains, and casting his Patronus to keep him company -- and give him a bit of light -- as he read.

Saturday could not come fast enough, and though Severus would have denied any and all desire to see Remus, there was a reason he was wandering half listlessly through the halls. He told himself he wanted practice. More practice. He'd made ears sprout on the first time! He had to be close, right?

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The following day was Saturday. Remus had some prefect duties in the morning and he finished that Transfiguration essay. He threw on another pair of ripped khakis, another worn sweater, and his Gryffindor robes. Most of Remus' clothes were all the same things: ripped, tattered, worn out, and old.

Remus headed to the Shrieking Shack, making sure the other Marauders weren't around. Slipping into the old building, he made his way to the room they were in the other day. The room they had gotten so close in. So close, it actually scared and excited him.

He pulled out the scroll of the book he had written for Severus the night before when he borrowed James' Invisibility Cloak and map. He'd made a pit stop after jinxing Filch's cat to bark. Potter would probably kill him if he knew what he'd done, but he wanted to do something nice for Severus.

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It didn't occur to Severus until the morning was more than half over that Remus probably aimed to meet him in that horrid place again. He was tired from roaming the halls and poking his nose into all of the place he had followed the Marauders about in over the previous year. He even went out to the Quidditch pitch, a bad idea considering how odd it was to have a Slytherin there at practice.

"I think that div fancies me," Sirius said after James pointed out that Snape was back and looking at them.

Prongs laughed. "Least someone fancies you, Paddy!"

"I'm going to have to jinx his tackle so he doesn't get any ideas--"

"Might like it."

"Oh, sick, Prongs!"

Severus hadn't heard any of it. He was already across the Scottish moor. Dodging the Willow, he scampered into the tunnel and arrived out of breath where Remus waited.

"You need a belled collar, Lupin," he grunted.

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Remus gave light smile. "Sorry. I just assumed we'd meet here again. If you want to go somewhere else, I'm alright with it. I just figured James and Sirius won't come here. And there's a lot of privacy." Not too mention it was the same place they'd almost-- no, he couldn't even think about it.

"I... ugh, copied some stuff for you. To make up for a lack of practice yesterday." He handed him the scroll. It was about four feet in length.

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It was hard to say 'thank you.' Harry than to even say he was sorry. Gazing at the scroll, he was actually somewhat angry about it. What gave Remus the right to be nice to him like that?

Severus had spent the night puzzling it over and had come up with no clues. He knew Remus's secrets, the important ones at least, but that didn't explain why Severus had started to like his company!

He scowled and took a seat, pulling off the ribbon the stare at the writing. "You didn't have to." His eyebrows knitted together. Still, it was brilliant. The amount of effort alone was staggering.

Severus rolled up the scroll again and pointed, weaponlike, at Remus.

"What is this you're doing, Lupin? You've friends! Is this some sort of bet?" Obviously, he'd come to one conclusion. No one liked him. Remus couldn't genuinely like him. So this had to be a trick.

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Remus took a step back at the accusations. "What?" He looked back at him utterly confused. "No. How could you even ask me that?"

It honestly stung. It was like Severus had slapped him in the face. And hard. He looked down at him, the hurt apparent more so in his eyes than anything else. Granted, he wasn't one to trust people either, but he could say the same about Snape.

However Remus knew that this was real. Whatever was going on between them was happening and it was of their own volition. They chose this and they were feeling it.

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Severus sat himself down hard and tapped the scroll to his lips. He wasn't quite sure how to answer without sounding weak. He still had his pride, no matter how misguided. "Gryffindors and Slytherins aren't mates."

He echoed the very thoughts Remus had been having earlier, though their very long string of moments on Thursday evening made him rather certain he'd been hexed somehow.

Each time he found himself looking at Remus, he felt the same tug, the same need to stare. He was not scared. No...no.

If Gryffindors and Slytherins could not be mates, what could they be?

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"Yeah." He merely said, not able to look at him any more. His own voice was weak and this hurt way more than he wanted to admit.

"I don't know what you want from me. I was only trying to help. But it just... I like... I don't know. I can't explain it. And that's a rubbish excuse to end a friendship. What about school unity or all that rubbish the Sorting Hat keeps blubbering on about?" He asked, finally looking up.

Like hell was he going to just let him go, let him walk out of his life. He didn't know why he cared, but he did. And he wasn't going to let Snape pull away from him.

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"We work well together," Severus said, almost as if that was his defense. If it was possible, his knuckles would have gotten even whiter from gripping the scroll so hard. Admitting that he didn't know how to deal with friendship was never going to happen so he slowly unwrapped his fingers from the parchment and held it out.

It was a very muggle thing to do, conducting transactions and all sorts of friendly relationships with a simple handshake. It felt like an eternity. He felt so vulnerable.

"You're...interesting Lupin." The words, taken with the more than enamoured look in Severus's eyes could have been taken for something else entirely. Sirius was right. Severus did fancy one of the Marauders.

He just couldn't deal with it yet.

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He looked down at the handshake. Remus didn't know why he was shaking it, but he was. Even though he was half Muggle, he grew up in the Wizarding World. He was shaking his hand though, because he wanted to touch him again. He wanted to feel something of Severus on him. He didn't know how powerful that want was, but a handshake would satiate him for now.

"You're you, Severus. That is a good enough reason for me." He said with a small smile. Remus had already seen Snape at his worst, and while he could be cruel and somewhat horrible, Remus was willing to take him as is - as long as he respected him.