Better Than You

[spinnersending]

"Better Than You"
Who:  Severus Snape & Remus Lupin
When: 6th Year
Chapter One:  Here


A pass to the Restricted Section was even easier than Severus thought it might be.  Dumbledore gave it to him without even glancing up, saying that he was looking forward to the results.  Severus could only imagine that he meant the Wolfsbane Draught paper he was going to submit, but who knew with the old wizard?  Dumbledore was not a man anyone ever underestimated.

When Remus did not show, Severus noticed and wrote it off.  That brief connection and near friendship had been enough to make him even more bitter about the whole idea of friendship and turned him off on it entirely.  Stupid git.  As if he might have actually found things in common with a creature like that!  Good riddance!

Too bad his breakthrough potion was going to help the mangy sod!  Severus groused as he found the book he was looking for and brought it back to the table.  This was not a potions book at all, but one on the animagi.

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[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Like hell was he going to show up. He was in a foul mood the previous day. He hexed Peter for making a werewolf joke and then put up the curtains, not wanting to talk to Pads or Prongs.

He managed to ignore Snape the few times he saw him that day. However he was at the library with a Seventh year Ravenclaw. He was tutoring her on Defense against the Dark Arts.

It was then he saw Snape with an old book. He smirked to himself. He knew which book that was. Remus excused himself from Jenny -- or was it Julie?

"Looking in the wrong book." Idiot. He was merely here to tell him that wasn't the book he needed.

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Was that a smile on his face? Almost. And then he caught himself. Any pleasure he got at seeing Remus was dashed by the way they'd parted yesterday. It still made him itch, his fingertips rubbing together as if he needed to get his wand and hex the nose right off of the Gryffindor's face.

"It's called 'research,'" Severus said, riled up, watching Remus for signs of... He wasn't quite sure to be honest. Maybe werewolves were just moody. Or maybe he had been jealous that the first real try Snape gave on the Patronus charm produced an actual result. "And what do you care?"

He got up and moved across to the other stack, slipping one book into place and taking another. He had been looking in the wrong book. He might as well try another.

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He saw Snape's smile flicker and disappear. His brow creased at that, wondering what made him smile. "It's called 'you don't know what the bloody hell you're getting into'." Remus took a seat and leaned back smugly.

"Oh, and skip the first 53 pages on that one, but you might want to read the one under it first."

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Taking both books back to the table, Severus did not bother to mention that Remus did not have a pass to be here. Why use his last trick in the book? If Remus got out of hand...or paw...Severus could throw it at him or call for the librarian.

He cracked open the thinner book he had nearly decided to ignore and glanced at the table of contents. Techniques, stories...well and good, but Severus needed something--

"Chapter Four," he red out loud. "Practical application." All right, so Remus knew his stuff. That smile ghosted on his full lips once more. He wasn't going to say thank you. Not to Remus Lupin and his ridiculously piercing eyes. "Don't look at me like that," he muttered. It was not a 'go away you bleedin' sod.' Even if he had meant to say that.

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Remus' smug smile grew that much wider. He more than knew his stuff. He sat there with his friends day after day. He knew what books and what chapters. He knew how to prepare the mind for transformation. Remus knew it all.

"Looking at you like what?" He asked, knowing full well what Severus was talking about.

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When had be become so easily charmed, he wondered, trying to school his face into something less thrilled. Social outing aside, secret meetings like these were for working purposes, not for watching the wolf chase his fox, and then dart back so that the fox could chase him.

Severus's eyes settled on Remus, catching a bit of that silvery glow from their combined magical efforts. He was pleased to see him, even if he didn't want to be. "Your wolf has better taste in company than you," he said almost cryptically. Dig against Black and Potter? Or against himself?

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He took a few more steps towards the water's edge and grinned. "Yeah, well I'm a big boy. I can decide who I want to be around." Not explaining if he was defending James and Sirius or Severus himself. Still, he was grinning from ear to ear.

"Glad to see you put your time to good use though." He said looking over at the elegant fox. It was a beautiful creature, he had to admit.

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"It's not as if I can send a Patronus sniffing around the Syltherin Common Room." It would attract too much attention and, most likely, get him in a heap of trouble if it sniffed out anything particularly vile. Performing Dark Magic was as frowned upon by some as discovering it was in others.

Severus crouched and the fox lifted it's delicate nose towards him before the young wizard banished the charm. The fox itself was enough to keep up the happy thought of his father being dead and he could manage to sustain it that much longer.

If only it could be real. If only he could sink his fingers into it's fur. He preferred animal company to human anyhow. That thought left him laughing secretly. No wonder he was taken with Remus. Even if he did try to bite his face off once.

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With a flick of his wrist his own Patronus was sent back, leaving wisps of light until even they faded. The two boys were thrown into the darkness of twilight; their only source of light was the silvered moon that hung low in the sky.

Remus hugged his sides after tucking his wand away. "So how goes the animagus studies?" He asked, not knowing how to break the silence.

It wasn't that he didn't mind the quiet, but if left to his own thoughts for long, he tended to get moody. It already had happened twice. And it was too nice out and he was generally happy. He didn't want to ruin it. Again.

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Too much hand holding for one night. Get a friend and act like a poufter, evidently. Severus pulled his hand back and bent finally to get his wand from where he'd dropped it to try and rescue Remus from that snake.

"You're not much of a monster. I've met worse." It was not entirely cryptic now that Remus knew his worst fear. "Even if you are a Gryffindor." It was more light teasing, something that Severus could not manage to get out of his system. He just tried to channel it into lighter fare, like blaming Remus's monster on his House and not the werewolf.

Though it was probably a good idea to head back, Severus didn't want to. What was waiting for him there? A lot of ignorant idiots playing at things they didn't understand?

This might have been more than enough emotion for one night, though. He nodded his head towards the castle. "C'mon. I can try out transfigurations on your clothing tomorrow."

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus just nodded when his hand dropped to his side. He wasn't going to act like he didn't miss the contact. Instead he'd just cross his hands and start heading up the hill again.

"That's kind of you to say, Severus, but you don't have to say it. I know what I am. I know my kind. I know what I'm capable of." He said, looking down. Remus acts like it's more about he's watching where he's going, but it's still really hard for him to talk about this without feeling horrible.

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Severus smirked, turning, and smacked his hand against the slightly meatier shoulder of the other boy. Damn, was he just muscle everywhere? It was a good thing he hadn't hit back. Severus was sure he would have had his spine fractured.

"Hey," he said, dark eyes flashing. "I don't say anything to be 'kind' like a bloody Hufflepuff, got it?" He tilted his head to see under the fringe of Remus's hair. "Don't feel sorry for yourself. It's not attractive on you."

He gripped Remus's shoulder all the more tightly, trying to push the thought into the other boy's mind.

"An' just so you know, you're really not all that scary 'tall. You've pitiful fangs and your fur looks all nice and soft." He was not trying to make that sound like a compliment. "Puppy more than a wolf you are, so don't go exaggerating that you're some big, man-eatin' beast. Couldn't even get at me proper! What sort of poncy werewolf is that?" He held Remus's gaze, oil-slick black to gold flecked hazel. "Not much of a monster at all, if yah ask me."

It was hard to keep a straight face. Severus had been terrified of him, but Remus without a smile was a strange thing indeed. This was called: 'cheering someone up.' He just had never tried it before.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

The Gryffindor gave him a meek smile at first. He could tell the other was trying and pretty successfully. He also noticed how strong his accent was. It was kind of cute.

--wait, what? No, he did not just think that.

They were talking about Remus. "Right, think about that." He mentally told himself.

He looked back up into Severus' eyes and couldn't help but smile. It was a broad one. Genuine and heartfelt. "Right. I'm sure it's because if I caught you, there'd be nothing to eat. No meat on your bones." Remus nudged him in the side a bit, jokingly. It wasn't like he could talk. He was tinier than James and Sirius, just what little he had was muscle.

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Severus snorted. "Evidently yer mate don't seem to understand there's more tah life then being a right git." Severus didn't even think about his accent, let alone his speech patterns. A poor boy from the north with a father like Tobias Snape, had grown up with all sorts of colorful language. He just had a mask to wear here. Cold. Indifferent. Uncaring... And as posh as possible.

He emulated Lucius, or at least tried to, in everything but personality. And popularity.

He thumbed through another chapter and then glanced up again. This time, he caught Remus looking at him with that silly grin on his face. Up went his eyebrows.

"'Ow's tonight fer a go then?"

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

"He just wants me to be happy. And he thinks someone'll actually have me." He muttered the last part. Dating was more than a sore spot for him.

However Snape's accent made him smile. "I'm up for it if you are. I've got Prefect privileges as well." One good thing about being a Prefect was the curfew extension. Mind you, it was mainly used for Patrolling, but since he was a werewolf, he never had to do it. Too bad he didn't have the map. That would have also helped.

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Three hours later and the darkness of the Shrieking Shack was filled first with Patronuses playing around a broken, heavily scarred table which Snape had charmed to be useful for a little while and then by floating balls of light courtesy of a spell they'd learned a few weeks ago. Sometimes school still came in handy. It made the Mundane a little bit less so.

Though he was more comfortable with the book aspect of things, Severus was little Remus talk him through some basic meditations. It was better than working alone, and despite what this awful little house meant for the werewolf, Severus' constant grousings ought to have been enough to keep his mind off of it.

"I am clearing my mind!" Not true. He was thinking about what it might be like to fly without a broom. That little smile of his gave it away. It was hard for a perpetual thinker to stop thinking.

He sighed and sat back.

"What about you? Didn't you try to do it? Become an animagi? Aren't you curious to find out what your form'd be?"

gunna be out for a few hours

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

"You're not clearing your mind. It's hard, I know, but you have to." Remus said, pressing his hands on the table before he remembered where he was.

He didn't like this room. There was a long streak of blood in the corner from two months ago when he tried to run free. Only the wards stopped him so he ended up attacking himself. He didn't remember any of it. Only briefly waking up in a pool of his blood.

"I already am an animal. I don't need a reminder of it." Remus said slightly more harsh than he meant it.

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Severus was still working on that part. Respect was not always so easily given because he himself had none. It would change one day, he was still so sure of it.

Having never been a tactile creature, having always shied away from prolonged touching, Severus's hand lingered in Remus's. As much as the werewolf liked to touch him, the glowering boy with the deep, staring eyes felt much the same way without even admitting it to himself.

"I...suppose there's hope for Hogwarts solidarity," he murmured. "There's...at least one Gryffindor that isn't an outright git."

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He bit his lip, yet again. He found himself doing that more and more often around Snape. He was only now aware of how often it happened. Remus was glad the other wasn't fighting it -- the friendship. He wasn't fighting the touch.

He wondered if it was mutual, the feelings he was getting from Severus. Was there something there or was this all imagined? Some beautiful mirage he's created in his mind, that desperate to be wanted.

"And a Slytherin who isn't minging." He gave him an honest smile.

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As he was now blushing, Severus took back his hand and his gaze. Remus was not going to just eat up his entire morning with kind eyes and what Severus had no idea was quite a bit of flirting. Of course, he was doing it right back.

Hearing Remus use words like that actually made Severus feel safer. They were from the same class of folks. Severus didn't have to pretend to be posh. Not here. Not with Remus.

He set out his books. His quill. His wand. He rolled out his scroll. And then he took a moment to look back at Remus. His skin itched when he saw that smile. His breath quickened.

"Suppose... Wot did those ears seem like? Cat? I don't want to be a house cat. Oh, Lion? Oh...no blast. Too Gryffindor."

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He took a seat opposite of him, taking out his own book and scrolls. Remus looked back at the other, trying to think what they could be. "I think they're actually fox ears. They were pointy and brawny red-brown." Remus said, continuing to smile at him.

"Besides even if it was a lion, then you could so beat the pants off of Sirius and James. Though they'd likely kill me if they knew I was helping you. Not that I care, just saying." Remus knew what he was getting himself into when he agreed and actively helped the Slytherin. He was only praying the Marauders wouldn't find out.

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He could have kissed Remus for remembering to bring something to eat, though he'd been doing it already and therefore, figured he was off the hook for any sort of reward or a thank you. Conjuring water was a rather simple spell to produce to go along with the food, though having a picnic on the floor of the Shrieking Shack was not entirely the place he really wanted to eat.

Terrible things happened here. There just was no where else to go.

He smirked, picking at the cheese on the sandwich he was eating, and tilted his head to the side as he regarded Lupin. "I'm going to find someplace other than here," he said, looking very nearly attractive with plump apple red lips and mussed hair. All it took was a little color to his face and a bit of teasing to otherwise limp locks to completely change the way he appeared.

That, and it helped that he wasn't screwing up his face sourly all the time around Remus.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus liked to think he was somewhat clever, and he brought the food because he thought they'd be practicing all day. Not that he minded the detour in the plans.

He picked at his own sandwich, and smiled at Severus. "I don't like being here. It was just all I could think where we wouldn't be bothered." Or caught. He sighed again. "There's too many bad memories here."

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Severus would agree to that. He had just one bad experience here and no amount of snogging was going to cover that up. Everywhere he looked there was a reminder of that night. Even the scars on Remus's face were. Severus nibbled around the edge of the sandwich and went over in his head every last hiding place he knew about in Hogwarts.

Having no idea that Remus and his friends had mapped it out as well over the past six years, his knowledge of the castle was extensive, but lacking.

Severus ate very deliberately, eyes set on Remus the whole while even though his mind was wandering. He literally could not take his gaze from him.

"I'll think on it," he murmured. "In the meantime, we can at least straighten this place up. We are wizards."

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus found he couldn't stop smiling. The way Severus was looking at him just made him that much more happy. Even when they were talking about the Shrieking. It made him shift slightly.

"I collapsed in that corner from lack of blood in that corner." He looked down, putting his sandwich down. "I ripped apart the room downstairs one emotional night last year. It's pointless to clean up. I'll only destroy it."