Better Than You

[spinnersending]

"Better Than You"
Who:  Severus Snape & Remus Lupin
When: 6th Year
Chapter One:  Here


A pass to the Restricted Section was even easier than Severus thought it might be.  Dumbledore gave it to him without even glancing up, saying that he was looking forward to the results.  Severus could only imagine that he meant the Wolfsbane Draught paper he was going to submit, but who knew with the old wizard?  Dumbledore was not a man anyone ever underestimated.

When Remus did not show, Severus noticed and wrote it off.  That brief connection and near friendship had been enough to make him even more bitter about the whole idea of friendship and turned him off on it entirely.  Stupid git.  As if he might have actually found things in common with a creature like that!  Good riddance!

Too bad his breakthrough potion was going to help the mangy sod!  Severus groused as he found the book he was looking for and brought it back to the table.  This was not a potions book at all, but one on the animagi.

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He saw Snape's smile flicker and disappear. His brow creased at that, wondering what made him smile. "It's called 'you don't know what the bloody hell you're getting into'." Remus took a seat and leaned back smugly.

"Oh, and skip the first 53 pages on that one, but you might want to read the one under it first."

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Taking both books back to the table, Severus did not bother to mention that Remus did not have a pass to be here. Why use his last trick in the book? If Remus got out of hand...or paw...Severus could throw it at him or call for the librarian.

He cracked open the thinner book he had nearly decided to ignore and glanced at the table of contents. Techniques, stories...well and good, but Severus needed something--

"Chapter Four," he red out loud. "Practical application." All right, so Remus knew his stuff. That smile ghosted on his full lips once more. He wasn't going to say thank you. Not to Remus Lupin and his ridiculously piercing eyes. "Don't look at me like that," he muttered. It was not a 'go away you bleedin' sod.' Even if he had meant to say that.

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Remus' smug smile grew that much wider. He more than knew his stuff. He sat there with his friends day after day. He knew what books and what chapters. He knew how to prepare the mind for transformation. Remus knew it all.

"Looking at you like what?" He asked, knowing full well what Severus was talking about.

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"That way!" He tapped the feather of his old and mostly nibless quill against his cheek, hunched over slightly and gazing up at Remus through a forest of dark eyelashes. He gestured upwards slightly, not quite annoyed.

He knew he ought to be annoyed, but the feeling wasn't there. Instead, he just smirked a bit more when Remus's lips twitched. Oh, that smugness.

"There you go again!"

A person watching might think that they were mates! Of course, Severus Snape, shadow of a boy no one much thought of, did not have friends.

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"Oh, like this?" He sat there and gave his smuggest look ever. It didn't take long for it to be suddenly replaced with laughter. A genuine smile now took its place. And just like that the hurt from the previous day had melted.

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Crumpling up a piece of paper, Severus threw it at Remus's forehead and watched it bounce off again. He used the hand still holding his quill to cover his mouth, but for once, the pain and sadness and bitter disgust for everyone around him that was always present in his eyes had been replaced by something almost like mirth.

It didn't last long. "Remus? Hi, sorry, but do you want to stop for today?"

Severus went back to being a block of ice. "Your bird's calling." Ooh, rash language and in front of someone else! Severus sank down a bit. "Didn't meant to interupt girlfriend time."

His eyes flickered up towards Remus again. Idiot girl. Ruined everything.

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His cheeks flushed a bit when he laughed. Remus watched the paper bounce off his forehead. He looked at Severus and grinned, seeing the smile.

And then his face dropped when he heard Jessie, no, Jackie, say something. He leaned in on the table. "She's not my girlfriend." His eyes narrowed.

"I'll leave you to your reading, Severus." He said as he stood. "I'll meet you in the Potions room tomorrow after classes." He said it with another smile. This time he'd make it.

He turned to leave, going to help out -- that girl.

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Severus settled back in his chair, watching Remus go before he turned back to his reading. Think like an animal... No wonder bloody Potter could get this so easily, he thought to himself, glancing at the empty chair left pushed out. He sighed, hooking his foot in the rung and tugged it back into place.

No trace of company now. Severus didn't need anyone.

Even so, he was glad for the company the next day, a stack of textbooks waiting for them both. Severus had even gotten himself invited to Slughorn's little circle after Dumbledore filled him in on his student's achievement, though he declined the invitation. Lily would be there. The excuse had been that he needed to work on his submission to the journal.

Slughorn left him alone after that. Left them alone. Sirius, however, was loudly vocal about Remus's staying behind. "Don't bother trying to tutor that slimy git," he called loudly. "He's hopeless!"

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"Bugger off, Pads. I'll see you for dinner." Remus called back as he gathered his things. He wasn't mean about it; a grin on his face even. Truth be told, he was looking forward to it all day. He'd catch himself actually getting giddy about it. And be really confused.

He grabbed his things and moved to next to Severus. "Hello." Remus gave him a friendly smile. The incident from two days ago long out of his mind.

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Severus only glanced over, and then behind his shoulder as Sirius made a crude wanking off gesture. Lily hit him and said something to make her hair shine like fire in the sunlight before James put an arm around her and carted her off down the hallway. "They're really lovely mates," Severus muttered.

His accent dropping seemed to happen with Remus as his trigger. Right on cue, Remus showed up and Severus relaxed just a little, speaking as he had until Lucius Malfoy made him believe it was wrong to sound like a Northerner.

He licked across his teeth, a typical nervous habit of his, and handed Remus a scroll. "Worked on it a bit last night. For the potion. Headmaster said it'll be about two weeks of testing, but should be back in time."

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"It's my choice who I can spend time with. They'll get over it." He shrugged and took out his book. Remus figured they'd be grumpy about it, but get over it. Eventually. Right?

He looked over the scroll and smiled. "Maybe I can even try it before the next full moon if everything works out." And it would. Snape was a bloody genius. And then some.

Remus parted his bangs and toyed with the ends for a second. He was thinking about the potion again. Biting the side of his lip, he was lost in thoughts about nights without being all torn up and waking up without the memory of the night before - or week before if it was a bad night and Remus woke up in St. Mungo's.

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Severus was a watcher. As quiet as he usually was, he listened and observed to make up for the lack of personal communication with anyone other than a few fellow Slytherin who happened to be a little more than curious in the Dark Arts. Even then, the contact with them was brief. They were idiots.

Still, he carried on those traits right now, studying the side of Remus's face. The way he bit his lip. Played with his hair. It was telling. Severus aimed to find out.

Remus had always fascinated him. Secrets, wandering around, hiding...always hiding. At least Severus did it in plain sight. He didn't answer Remus. He didn't do much of anything. He was too focused on the boy sitting next to him to even carry on a conversation.

Watching had officially turned into staring.

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Remus was lost in his own world. Thinking about a life not so ailed with lycanthropy. He was staring at the scroll intently, not actually looking at it. If this works, things will get easier. Right? Maybe he can get a normal job. And equal rights. And he'll never have to report to that horrible Creature Camp. The mere thought of it made him shiver, snapping him out of his reverie.

He blinked twice and put his hand down, no longer playing with his hair. His eyes glanced over at Snape. He just noticed he was being started at. "Everything alright there, mate?" Remus asked, his hair suddenly pushing the bangs behind his hair. It was a nervous habit he sometimes had.

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Severus blinked, strangely long eyelashes gently kissing his cheeks before he turned his head away. He didn't flush this time or even look outright confused. He just shook his head. "What do you think? Just a rough draft. Haven't got all the proper citations yet, but..."

Hate and comfort, companionship and fear. Remus made his emotions run the gambit. He blamed it on having someone to talk to, or on having an insider man that happened to be able to help him in ways he never realized before. Patronus and now animagus transfigurations?

It was impossible and amazing. "I don't want it to come off too arrogant. You need to make a name for yourself, right? Otherwise you get laughed at and no one takes you seriously." That scroll was the most important thing in both of their lives at this moment.

And it was what was bonding them together in ways neither had foreseen.

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Right. Before Remus got lost in the idea of having an actual future he was reading the scroll. He looked from Severus back to the scroll and continued to read.

"I think it sounds great. We just probably see if we can remake it. Like maybe it was a one time fluke." Because good things just didn't happen in his life. Remus always had this feeling like he was bound to lose everything. Not that he even had much, but it was just this feeling. Good things were a rare delight in his life.

He tried smiling, but it flickered, and the sadness returned in his eyes.

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"Keep some on hand in case they keep the whole sample. Brilliant!" Severus was already at the cabinet, jumping to reach his favorite iron stirring rod from the top shelf. "Just do the preparations as perfectly as before. Whatever you did before...whatever you were thinking before as you did the slicing... Oh, actually, write it down just in case that matters."

Severus stood as he conjured the cauldron to heat up, wrist graceful in the way he could manipulate the magical matrices of currents for simple spells without the focusing device of a wand. His fingers twitched lightly and the base water filled the cauldron to the proper levels.

He sat heavily beside Remus, and blinked at the other boy. "What's wrong with you now?" He sometimes forgot his rudeness levels.

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Remus half listened as he pulled out the ingredients that were needed. Everything was labeled, and he was paying attention. He was just back from his happy daydream to reality. The reality that while it would amazing if this worked, it wasn't a sure thing.

He shook his head as he started chopping up the bihorn. He wrote it down on the scroll. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it." He wasn't going to open up if he was snapped at, Severus. He rarely opened up to the Marauders and they actually liked him.

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"I'm not worried about you," Severus muttered. This was not helping the 'open up' factor but old habits died hard. He was protecting himself, just in case whatever this was came back to bite him. Give that he was seated beside Remus, that could be possible.

They continued on in silence. The work was slow. Severus was fine with that, and even with the quiet. He preferred it actually. It kept his mind clear.

It was Severus that gave the incantation when the brew was ready and the liquid flashed a cheery pearly white before settling into the proper shade.

Another job well done. Score for Severus Snape. He grinned at Remus openly, eyes glowing as brightly as the potion in the cauldron had. "Flawless."

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He sat in the silence. He ignored the harsh remark. That was just Snape being Snape. Remus didn't even mind when Severus said the incantation this time. That was fine with him. Though when the potion turned the proper green-gray color, a flash of relief crossed his face. He had to remind himself that that didn't mean it would work.

Remus picked up the scroll and nodded. "And we have all the notes right here. Good job." He said, a small smile appearing and then disappearing on his face.

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That look that Severus had been studying before was gone. That smugness. Now he just looked -- He hated to admit it, but it was true. Remus looked how Severus so often felt. The slytherin sighed, inhaling for a long moment before he started to bottle the draught. He gave one to Remus, tucking it into his bag for him. The rest he kept for himself.

"I want to practice," Severus blurted out. "Patronus and..." Well, he couldn't just say it out loud here. Slughorn might have had little devices lurking around trying to catch intrigue or bits of genius. "Can you come tonight? My place. The one I showed you."

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Remus noticed that he put the bottle in his bag. "Thanks." He muttered quietly.

Tonight? Well he was supposed to plan some prank for the boys lav with the Marauders, but it was likely he had nothing to say except trying to dissuade them. For two hours straight.

"Yeah. I'll be there. Say eight? I have to finish six more inches on the Giant Troll War of 1233." He said with a sigh.

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"Yes, dark enough then." He still didn't want anyone getting the wrong opinion about him and Remus. They were not friends. Severus paused. He really wasn't so sure anymore about the logistics of it. They worked together. And did so rather brilliantly, but otherwise they were seperate. Remus had his friends, his life, and Severus had his books and his dreams of being important.

They parted ways with little pomp and circumstance. Severus kept his head down at dinner, finished his reports, and went out to the lake in a dark sweater, threadbare trousers and his robes. If it wasn't for his face and his hands on that particularly dark night, he might have been invisible.

He stood on the banks of the river, grinning at the fox as it flitted about, dashing out onto the water, sneaking through the grass.

Severus was enamored.

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The rest of the evening was filled with dinner, homework, and a lot of taunting about working with Snape. Even through dinner. Remus just shook his head and smiled through it all. He didn't care what they thought. Remus was the type of person that really didn't care what others thought of what he did, it was who he was that mattered (and what he was worried about).

He was a few minutes late. He had on a pair of wrinkled, old khakis, a worn sweater and his Gryffindor robes. He saw the Patronus and cast his when he was still at the top of the hill. His wolf ran down to greet the other Patronus and soon enough Remus was standing opposite of Snape, the two of their Patronuses (Patroni?) darting around each other.

"Evening, Severus. Well don't they seem friendly enough?" He said with a slight laugh, gesturing to the two light animals.

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