Just Causes

[spinnersending]

"Just Causes"
Who:  Severus Snape & Remus Lupin
When: 6th Year
Chapter One:  Here
Chapter Two: Here


Tomorrow night, this place would be filled with a beast tearing at itself until his friends could arrive to keep it calm and keep it company.  Tonight, there was a beast of a different sort in the room, one unnamed but just as fearful.  Swallowing, it was all that Severus could do to clean up as bit before Remus's mouth was on him again.

He laughed.  Laughed.  Mostly this was directed at himself for being so pathetically stupid.  All this time he could have been with Remus and instead, they had left each other feeling miserable over misunderstandings.

Severus was quiet.  Where they were going to do, he wasn't quite sure but he wanted to find out!

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[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus looked up at him and nodded. He had no doubt that Severus would have it mastered by then. He ran a hand up into the other's hair and kissed him softly. "You're staying with me over the summer. It'll be fine." His voice was firm, his mind made up.

If that is what happened after a few days, there was no way Remus could knowingly let the man he cared about walk into an abusive house. He wasn't sure how things were going to work with his parents. And the Marauders, if they found out. But Remus' conscious was stronger than that and his heart was too big.

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By the time Remus got back to the common room, Sirius was asleep in his own bed, snoring lightly. James was doing homework and once again, Peter was no where to be seen.

"Hey, Moon," James said, glancing over his glasses. "Out tutoring again?"

James didn't know exactly what was up, but he had a bit of an idea that Remus wasn't just up to no good. And he was well aware he'd taken the map after a conversation about Severus Snape.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus headed up to his room, and looked back at James as he spoke. Why where they constantly at him? Remus was trying his best to be sneaky. He wasn't a Slytherin though.

"Still catching up on some work. McGonagall wants an essay on beast to beast transfigurations." It wasn't a total lie. He did still have that essay due. Remus simply had a break.

That and he really didn't want Sirius to find out. It would crush him. Remus looked over at the sleeping form before putting on his night clothes. He stifled a yawn, trying to push out thoughts of Sirius.

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James frowned lightly. "You know we've never lied to you," he said, but let the matter drop. He pulled closed Sirius's curtains and charmed them not to open until Sirius said that James Potter was the smartest, handsomest and most athletic boy in the universe. He gave Remus just a little wink.

It wasn't said to make Remus feel guilty. It was simple truth. Very simple truth. Sirius was as transparent as they came. James only a little more mysterious. The most Peter had done was spend too much time as a rat sneaking food.

They were simple. But Remus...had secrets. And lies. And they knew it.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus always had secrets. And it wasn't always because he was afraid of what they'd think. It was just hard when he knew that telling them this would certainly tear things apart. He swallowed hard and looked up at the other Marauder.

"You don't know everything that is going on." He said, looking back at Sirius' bed. "It's far more complicated than I want, but I can't, okay. What do you want me to say?"

He could probably trust James more than the other two. Peter was sort of clueless and Sirius would attempt to kill either him or Snape. Remus couldn't bare to have Severus endure more pain, especially at his expense.

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"Me? I don't want you to say anything, Moony. Just letting you know that you've got the best mates around. We'd do anything for you." They already had, after all. "Even if what you've got now goes sour, we'll still be there. Good night!"

James and his profound wisdom. He hardly seemed like a person that might have it, but every once in a blue moon, he managed to say something telling and eloquent.

By morning, that was all forgotten, mostly because Sirius had woken up and was refusing to say the words to break the charm on his curtain and threatening to disembowel his friend.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

He gave up on it. If and when the shit hit the proverbial fan, Sirius would be the one reacting to it. And James? Chances are he'd take Sirius' side. Peter did whatever the majority wanted. So that left Lupin friendless. It's why he couldn't bare to tell them. To lose everything he had?

The next morning after listening to Sirius curse James out for a good twenty minutes, Lupin finally undid the charm Potter did on Black's bed. The four Marauders headed down to breakfast and it felt like old times again. Maybe Remus could really live two different lives. One with the Marauders and one with Severus. He was still the same person. He just needed to keep the Marauders - namely Sirius - away from Snape.

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It did work for the next week and a half. Severus and Remus practiced the animagus charms, though the Slytherin still was only able to produce fox ears -- a great achievement in so little time, but that didn't stop him from being frustrated. Sirius seemed none the wiser and returned to the way he had been acting before, as if he'd never had a conversation about fancying Remus. In fact, he even started to date someone fairly regularly and was constantly sneaking out of the Common Room.

"Have you heard if the draught's been released?" Severus asked, anxiously after they'd recovered from their second base tumbles the night before the full moon. He laid in their bed in the Room, sheets over his bright white skin from the waist down, propped up on his elbows. "I don't want you to tear yourself apart again."

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

He was managing a fairly normal life. It was kind of odd. Things never worked out so brilliantly for him. Though he did feel that pang of jealousy when he'd heard about Sirius dating someone new.

"Dumbledore says it may take a few more months. But this month shouldn't be as bad as the last. Things are fine between Sirius and I." He hadn't tried anything since the month before, and if he was going to pretend he didn't nearly ask Remus to shag him the night he returned, then Remus wasn't going to bring it up.

Remus was still trying to catch his breath, but he laid there calmly with the other. He leaned his head on Severus' shoulder and gave him a weak smile. He couldn't promise much, but the Infirmary was on call.

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Severus didn't say anything, fingers gently running through the lengths of Remus's hair as they settled against each other. Severus was quite happy with Remus like this, he loved the weight against him, and he loved stroking thing fingers against his scalp. The petting was as important as the kissing. He felt so connected to the werewolf right now.

He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. Last month, Remus had ripped up all of the places they had been. Why? He was sure it had to do with the tugging he'd felt that night to go to Remus.

To answer a call he could not hear.

It had been terrible for them both...and now they'd spend the nights apart again. Severus's fingernails inadvertantly scratched into Remus's skin at the thought.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus let out a yawn, but kept his gaze on Severus. He couldn't explain the reason why last month happened the way that it did, but he was trying to clear things up. He didn't like having such volatile emotions as a wolf. The most he could do was keep the air clear.

And as far as things were at that moment, they were perfect. He was still in post-orgasm bliss, but his life was going pretty well. Far better than it was last month. He only hoped when he returned to his dorm later, things would run smoothly. Chances are Sirius was shagging that new girl he had anyway, not a thought about Remus. And he was both okay with that and more jealous than he'd care to admit.

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After parting from Severus, who decided to stay awhile longer in a room where there was nothing but quietness -- in reality, on the nights he and Remus met, Severus slept in the Room, though he had not told Remus this -- Remus would find a familiar gait matching his own once he hit the corridor leading to the common room. Sirius slipped his hands into his pockets, not even saying hello.

He didn't look tossled. Or smell like he'd been with someone. He was simply very, very quiet right up until they portrait.

He held his hand against the frame, barring Remus from the password.

"Do you even want me there tomorrow night?"

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus left the Room of Requirement, hoping that it wasn't two weeks before he'd see Severus again. He had a pit in his stomach. And all people to walk by him at that moment. He should have expected it, really. Remus shouldered his bag awkwardly and looked ahead.

"I've never forced you to come. If you want to be there, it's up to you." Remus said, swallowing hard.

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Sirius's teeth flashed, but it was not a smile. "That is not what I asked you," he said, low, right to the point. There was a hint of danger in his eyes as he watched Remus, testing the waters and Remus's responses.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus flinched slightly, not knowing what to expect. "What do you want me to say? If I say yes, I'll tear myself to pieces, but if I say no, I'll lose..." Remus paused and turned around. "I don't know what you expect me to do, Sirius. This isn't a game we're playing at. This is my life and pulling me around like this."

He looked up at Black, his eyes round orbs, wondering what Sirius would say or do. He was a few inches taller than him and had far more muscle. However Remus was tougher than he looked.

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Sirius hurt. It was in his eyes, broken gray staring down at Remus with such a flash of anguish. "You hurt yourself because of me?" It wasn't exactly a question. He looked withdrawn and took his hand away from the frame. "Easy enough then. I'll stay here tomorrow night."

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus still stood there, not willing to let it end there. Part of the reason things were so mucked up was because Remus kept letting Sirius drop conversations or sweep things under the rug.

"It's far more complicated than that, Sirius. The wolf knows you. If you're not there, it might just make things worse. Who knows at this point? Look, I'm sorry. About what happened. I just... I don't know." He said looking down.

Remus cracked his knuckles, trying to remain at ease. He could feel the surge of emotions filling him up again. He had to remind himself it was just the full moon and hopefully Pads wouldn't absorb the amount of testosterone and other hormones clearly radiating from him.

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Sirius dropped his hands and chewed on the inside of his lips. "I don't know what happened to us, Rem. I'm sorry, mate, all right?"

He slowly moved his large hand to rest on Remus's shoulder and squeezed.

It was obvious that his emotions, like James's and even Severus's, were effected by the young wolf, coming of age, moving to adulthood. It was impossible not to be affected. This was a volitile time in a werewolf's life. And Remus did not really have a pack, just some animagi boys to follow him around.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus was not going to comment that the whole thing was his own fault. If he'd told the other boy he liked him, actually trusted him and told him his secret, then who knows where'd they'd be? If he didn't give in to Sirius crawling into bed with him. If things hadn't escalated. There were a lot of things that contributed. Remus just swallowed.

"It's okay, mate, really. Besides you've got a bird now, so I'm sure you're happy." Remus said as he offered his best fake smile that he could possibly muster up. The pain was still in his eyes though.

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"A--" Sirius looked confused for a second and then laughed, arm around Remus's shoulders. "Yeah, that I do. Let's play it by ear tomorrow. If the wolf still wants to eat me, I'll hang out in the tunnel. If you look about ready to munch on yourself, I'll head out. And if last month was a fluke because-- Well, then we play tag like usual."

Sirius grinned, pulling Remus back inside the common room and up the stairs. He slipped into his own bed after that, though he seemed rather open to allowing Remus to come in with him if he wanted considering how he left a gap in the curtains to his bed where Remus's was.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus headed to bed. He stripped his clothing off, found a fresh set of sleep trousers, and was all set for climbing into his own bed when he just happened to look over at Sirius' bed.

He told himself it was just to make sure that Sirius was alright. For their friendship. Right. Sirius had a girlfriend. He wouldn't jeopardize that. No way. Remus was just going to crawl in there and make sure his best mate was okay with everything. His pheromones had nothing to do with it. At all. Not even a little.

Remus laid next to Sirius and looked up. He knew this was a bad idea. Why was he there? And yet, he couldn't pull himself away and retreat back into his own bed. No, he was there now.

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Sirius's eyes were dark as he lifted a hand to Remus's cheek the moment that the werewolf came into bed with him. He watched him, carefully, and then lifted his head as if to kiss him.

He was careful. Slow. Remus could back away if he needed to. Sirius's lips pressed against the side of Remus's mouth. Brief. Strangely tender for Sirius.

He was trying.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

He didn't move. He couldn't move. Remus was frozen solid in place. He could feel how clammy his hands suddenly felt. He took a slow breath out. He still couldn't move though. He could still feel Sirius against him.

"Sirius..." Remus objected, though he still did not move. "What about--"

And the words fell from his mouth. He swallowed sharply. And when he did finally move, those were not his hands clutching at Sirius, almost half desperate for him. For what? He didn't know. He just couldn't shake this feeling.

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Sirius half-laughed under his breath and shook his head. "Made up," he muttered, an explination as to his supposed girlfriend no one bothered to ask him much about and who didn't seem to have a name.

He let his head fall back on the pillow as he gazed up at Remus. Sirius could feel Remus's need. His own curiousity about it led him into his own need. Fingers, calm and sure, touched his lower lip before his mouth followed suit again.

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"You were fighting?" Remus asked, before it clicked. Sirius made the whole thing up. The girl and everything. Remus didn't know what to say about that. It sort of made things worse. He honestly worried about his mate.

And then once again his lips were captured by Sirius. He swallowed hard. He laid there frozen again. He didn't know what to do. Regardless of the fact that the imaginary girl clearly brought up some feelings, Remus once again thought of Severus. It was like his heart had sunk. He couldn't explain any of this even if he tried.