spinnersending | Better Than You

Better Than You

"Better Than You"
Who: Severus Snape & Remus Lupin
When: 6th Year
Chapter One: Here

A pass to the Restricted Section was even easier than Severus thought it might be. Dumbledore gave it to him without even glancing up, saying that he was looking forward to the results. Severus could only imagine that he meant the Wolfsbane Draught paper he was going to submit, but who knew with the old wizard? Dumbledore was not a man anyone ever underestimated.

When Remus did not show, Severus noticed and wrote it off. That brief connection and near friendship had been enough to make him even more bitter about the whole idea of friendship and turned him off on it entirely. Stupid git. As if he might have actually found things in common with a creature like that! Good riddance!

Too bad his breakthrough potion was going to help the mangy sod! Severus groused as he found the book he was looking for and brought it back to the table. This was not a potions book at all, but one on the animagi.

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Remus liked to think he was somewhat clever, and he brought the food because he thought they'd be practicing all day. Not that he minded the detour in the plans.

He picked at his own sandwich, and smiled at Severus. "I don't like being here. It was just all I could think where we wouldn't be bothered." Or caught. He sighed again. "There's too many bad memories here."

Severus would agree to that. He had just one bad experience here and no amount of snogging was going to cover that up. Everywhere he looked there was a reminder of that night. Even the scars on Remus's face were. Severus nibbled around the edge of the sandwich and went over in his head every last hiding place he knew about in Hogwarts.

Having no idea that Remus and his friends had mapped it out as well over the past six years, his knowledge of the castle was extensive, but lacking.

Severus ate very deliberately, eyes set on Remus the whole while even though his mind was wandering. He literally could not take his gaze from him.

"I'll think on it," he murmured. "In the meantime, we can at least straighten this place up. We are wizards."

Remus found he couldn't stop smiling. The way Severus was looking at him just made him that much more happy. Even when they were talking about the Shrieking. It made him shift slightly.

"I collapsed in that corner from lack of blood in that corner." He looked down, putting his sandwich down. "I ripped apart the room downstairs one emotional night last year. It's pointless to clean up. I'll only destroy it."

Severus clucked his tongue against his teeth. It was something his mother did a lot, generally when he had been younger and use to ask permission to go and play in Lily's garden with her. It was, in a word, dismissive.

"Might not be a large house, but there's bound to be one room you don't bother with all that much?" Severus pushed the rest of his sandwich into his mouth, licked his fingers, and pulled the wand from his robes.

Remus wanted to say there wasn't, but six years of transformations in this building. He shook his head. "I've destroyed everything in this house. Either just destroying it physically or there's blood or fur." He clenched his jaw, looking up into Severus' eyes.

"It is what it is, and it's not worth it."

Severus was determined. "All right. Just means we'll have to straight up a bit each month," he said, no nonsense. Remus's mood swings here were too intense. For once, Severus did not feel so hopeless himself, and it seemed only fair that his...

Friend?

...feel the same.

He pulled open the rickety door to check out the rest of the tiny house, the end of his wand lighting up. "Well?" Are you coming, Lupin, or shall I do the work all myself?"

Normally his emotions weren't so yo-yoing, but normally he didn't open himself up. The Marauders were mainly for fun, and while he still trusted them with his life there was so much bottled up. He only rarely talked about being a werewolf and all consequences that came with it mentally. Then again the Marauders were slightly more accepting. And while he knew that he was the case, it was hard when everything was pranking.

He got up with a small nod and a smile and followed Severus. "Alright, now what?"

It appeared that where the majority of the ruination of the Shack had been the dining room or sitting room that they spent most of their time in. There were still very deep marks along the walls and tufts of fur and blood dropped on the floor in the halls and the other rooms as well, but nothing so terrible.

Severus was surprised to find an old piano in one of the rooms, though he did not play. There was a busted old couch on lion claw feet in the corner and an alcove bed in the back. The sheets had been ripped to shreds.

All in all, it would take a great deal of magic to straight up. They might have been very bright, but they were still just learning and not every spell known to mature wizards were under their belt.

Severus raised his wand and got to work anyhow, dispelling blood first from the room.

Remus couldn't say why he visited certain rooms more than others or why he seemed to only destroy the main rooms of the house more than any other. However he wasn't going to bring it up. He shut his mouth, though his eyes gave away his doubts.

"The Marauders are going to notice if we do much to it. If they suddenly come here and it's... livable." Remus said. He'd drawn his wand, but had yet to use it. He was still wondering if it was a good thing to clean it up.

"Maybe we can just... meet in an abandoned class rooms. Or the hidden passage ways. They're all throughout the school."

Severus turned, dropping the tip of his wand down before he faced Remus. "Because it is far less likely that we'll be caught there," he murmured, sarcastic as ever, and tucked his wand away into his robes. If Remus did not want this place tidied up, well, that was his prerogative. The Shack was no place Severus wanted to be.

He tilted his head to the side, regarding a boy he spent most of the day with, and sat on the edge of the torn up bed.

The problem with all of the 'secret' places of the castle was that they were almost always occupied by hormonal witches and wizards trying to get a little privacy.

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. Why did this have to be so ridiculously hard? Well, he knew why. He just wasn't happy about. To say the least.

He came to sit next to Severus, after first mending the bed. He didn't want it to collapse or anything. Remus gave him a small smile. "I'm not happy about it, but here is better than no where. I'm sorry about you're spot at the lake. It was peaceful there." The Gryffindor said as he took the Slytherin's hand.

Severus watched Remus's fingers curl around his own before his gaze flickered towards his gold flecked brown eyes. He swallowed. It was hard to think when Lupin was so close. Why? What was doing that to him?

He really needed to do more research on werewolves, he thought to himself for the second time that day.

"Ought to be something better," he mumbled, heart fluttering again in his chest. He thought he ought to be more annoyed by these reactions, but he simply wasn't. "We can go looking tomorrow?" That solved the question of when they'd see each other next.

"We can at least try. I'll do some research on the castle." Remus paused. "I already have the layout."

He wasn't sure if the Marauders Map was something he could just talk about. It took ages to get the right spells to get that thing to work. But if they could use it to their advantage, so be it.

He turned his head to look at Severus and found himself, smiling. Again. Remus tried stopping, but the only thing he could think of was talking. "We'll have to try it in the morning. The castle's mainly dead on a Sunday morning." They could have practically free reign on the school with most people still in bed.

Severus could never smile as much as Remus managed to, and he didn't even try. He seemed just as sulky as ever, really, save for the glow to his eyes.

Meeting Remus in the morning meant less time alone. They'd even be poking around the castle for places to continue that 'not aloneness.' Though Remus had become quite a bit more than a friend, there was a happy swelling inside of him for that friendship.

Pulling their joined hands into his lap, Severus's cool fingers gently stroked his knuckles and wrist. They could not stay here all day Quidditch practice had to have been over by now. And Sirius Black was annoyingly good at locating his mate. They made plans on where to meet and Severus nodded. He doubted he could sleep anyhow.

Remus was grateful for the time he managed to spend with Severus. And he didn't have much of a problem smiling if he was genuinely happy. That was one good thing about the pranking - it tended to bring out the smiles in him and his friends.

He let the moments last as long as he possibly could. Parting wasn't particularly easy, but he at least had the hopes of the following day to look forward, plus the memory of the few hours he spent with Severus.

That night had been rather unremarkable, but what could really compare to the day he had. James noticed the silly grin on his face and Sirius taunted him for a good hour on what girl did Lupin shag that day. He kept his mouth closed, entirely too amused by the truth.

The following morning, he rose early - far earlier than the other Marauders, and slipped out unnoticed. Remus stopped by the Great Hall to grab breakfast, not sure if Severus did the same, he brought along sticky buns, eggs, toast, and pumpkin juice and then headed off to the meeting place.

Severus hadn't been able to eat. He hadn't been able to sleep. Paranoia was the game from the night before, carried on to the morning because Severus had arrived early and was, therefore, waiting for Remus. He expected all of the Marauders to jump out at him for snogging Remus, or expected no one to show up at all.

Seeing the werewolf...with sticky buns...made Severus sigh in audible relief. Who brought sticky buns to an ambush?

Curling his fingers against his palm, Severus headed towards the other boy at double time, stopping just short or running into him. He lifted his hand to place it on Remus's chest, hesitated, and then looked up into his eyes instead. "Morning', Lupin."

He rubbed sleepily at his eyes, but gave the other a small smile. Remus never thought he'd see the day Severus Snape would be nearly barreling down a hall to see him. "Morning, Snape." He looked back at him. "Brought breakfast in case you didn't eat."

He gestured towards the sticky buns and grinned. The rest was in his satchel, and honestly he was starving. It was nice to seem again, even if it'd only been less than twelve hours since he'd last seen him. But it was all he could think about.

His free hand when to lightly touch Severus' arm. He continued to look into the other's eyes, though trying not to get too captivated. After all breakfast called.

"Careful, at this rate you may as well have been sorted to Hufflepuff," he said, the tease there in his eyes even if his face was just as grumpy as ever. It took a bit of excercise to reverse that particular feature. He took the offered breakfast and nodded down the hall. There was a stone ledge at one of the large thick-paned glass windows two corridors down that they could perch on and eat.

Severus sat with his back against the glass, long legs folded beneath him as he regarded Remus not quite slyly enough out of the corner of his eye to not be caught.

He'd done so much reading the night before that his head actually ached. "What is this?" he finally asked, and then, because it sounded accusatory, he tried to soften up his words. "With you. Us. What's doin' it?"

Remus just shook his head. He liked doing nice things for friends. It was probably more so a way to not lose them by doing things for them, but Remus wasn't very much aware of that. He just knew he liked doing things if it made people happy. If he made people happy.

He took out the breakfast and sat next to him. His legs were tucked under him and he was leaning on the ledge. Remus had a mouth full of sticky buns when he looked back over at Severus. "What do you mean?" He asked, not sure what he was talking about. He did know he didn't like the tone.

Severus scooted a bit closer and mentally noted how he'd done that. It was not like him. He might enjoy Remus's company, but he was not the sort of boy to chase after a bit of affection. His pride generally forced him to lash out instead. Lily Evans: case and point.

Smooth fingers touched the back of Remus's hand. There! Another oddity! Severus snatched his hand back. "That," he mumbled, keeping his eyes downcast even as his fingers curled down against the werewolf's palm. "And...this."

It was almost obsessive.

Remus looked down at their hands and the proximity of the other boy. He grinned, but he wasn't sure exactly what he meant. What was he questioning? Remus thought they were over the idea that this was some spell or hoax or whatnot.

He shook his head as he looked up. "It is what it is." Remus said, trying to explain when he didn't know what he was asking.

Remus took another bite, and furrowed his brows. As far as he knew it just was the way he was feeling towards Severus. He hoped it was the same way.

Severus didn't think it was a spell at all, not anymore. He was almost positive it had to do with Remus being a werewolf. Severus could not, of course not, think he just managed to find a rare connection with another person.

"I'd like some of your hair," Severus said, not taking his hand back. In fact, he even moved a little closer still proximity to Lupin just made him want to be near. Severus, really, could only think clearly when they were apart, when his mind was not clouded by...this.

At least no one could see them, and if they did, well, Severus knew he'd just hex them anyhow. He couldn't help but think that this was slowly becoming a weakness, however.

"My theory is pheromones at the moment."

"My hair." He looked at him a little confused. What was he going to do with his hair?

And then realization dawned on him. "So you don't trust my feelings for you? You think this is because the full moon." He face was blank, his brows still furrowed. "No. While pheromones do have something to do with it, since I haven't tried to get you in bed, it isn't that. It may intensify things, but the beast doesn't pick things for me."

Although that would be a good excuse for why he was snogging a guy, but it didn't work quite like that. Remus knew too much about it to say that it did.

Severus smirked and pulled his hand back. "I understand Gryffindors are slow sometimes, but you don't need to bite my head off!" Severus countered, sliding off of the sill to put his hands on his waist and peer down at Remus. "The world does not revolve around you," he said, nasty because that was his fall back mechanism. "I am more concerned about me" he tried to point out. "You've mentioned my staring. Why? Why would I do that? And this! Oh, this is far worse. Anyone can walk by and see us--"

Severus paced, trying to think.

"I am certain it is your pheromones that are effecting the degree in which I show you favor," he muttered, scratching at his throat. "Above and beyond feelings, Lupin, don't go yelling that I feel nothing for you!"

Dear Merlin, can they have one day where they don't get into a fight over something? Remus just wanted a nice quiet morning of trouncing around the castle with the guy he was kind of, sort of seeing. But can he get that? No. Because whoever was controlling the universe hated him. Clearly.

He sat there and rolled his eyes. "I wasn't biting your head off, but you're sure quick to jump all over me. And of course you're thinking of yourself, you always do. Silly me for actually caring. I wasn't thinking the world revolved around me. I've gone out of my way to do things for you." Remus said, his own tone becoming hostile.

He was tired at being yelled at. Remus understood that that was how Severus was, but this was too far. "You can't just accept that whatever this is, just is. I don't think you have feelings for me, because all you ever do is think of you. Merlin, Snape." He grit his teeth and shoved more things into his bag.

"You don't want to like me, fine. Don't. Don't want to be around me, then bloody well sod off."

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Bed for me unfortunately :(

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