spinnersending | Better Than You

Better Than You

"Better Than You"
Who: Severus Snape & Remus Lupin
When: 6th Year
Chapter One: Here

A pass to the Restricted Section was even easier than Severus thought it might be. Dumbledore gave it to him without even glancing up, saying that he was looking forward to the results. Severus could only imagine that he meant the Wolfsbane Draught paper he was going to submit, but who knew with the old wizard? Dumbledore was not a man anyone ever underestimated.

When Remus did not show, Severus noticed and wrote it off. That brief connection and near friendship had been enough to make him even more bitter about the whole idea of friendship and turned him off on it entirely. Stupid git. As if he might have actually found things in common with a creature like that! Good riddance!

Too bad his breakthrough potion was going to help the mangy sod! Severus groused as he found the book he was looking for and brought it back to the table. This was not a potions book at all, but one on the animagi.

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Severus was determined. "All right. Just means we'll have to straight up a bit each month," he said, no nonsense. Remus's mood swings here were too intense. For once, Severus did not feel so hopeless himself, and it seemed only fair that his...

Friend?

...feel the same.

He pulled open the rickety door to check out the rest of the tiny house, the end of his wand lighting up. "Well?" Are you coming, Lupin, or shall I do the work all myself?"

Normally his emotions weren't so yo-yoing, but normally he didn't open himself up. The Marauders were mainly for fun, and while he still trusted them with his life there was so much bottled up. He only rarely talked about being a werewolf and all consequences that came with it mentally. Then again the Marauders were slightly more accepting. And while he knew that he was the case, it was hard when everything was pranking.

He got up with a small nod and a smile and followed Severus. "Alright, now what?"

It appeared that where the majority of the ruination of the Shack had been the dining room or sitting room that they spent most of their time in. There were still very deep marks along the walls and tufts of fur and blood dropped on the floor in the halls and the other rooms as well, but nothing so terrible.

Severus was surprised to find an old piano in one of the rooms, though he did not play. There was a busted old couch on lion claw feet in the corner and an alcove bed in the back. The sheets had been ripped to shreds.

All in all, it would take a great deal of magic to straight up. They might have been very bright, but they were still just learning and not every spell known to mature wizards were under their belt.

Severus raised his wand and got to work anyhow, dispelling blood first from the room.

Remus couldn't say why he visited certain rooms more than others or why he seemed to only destroy the main rooms of the house more than any other. However he wasn't going to bring it up. He shut his mouth, though his eyes gave away his doubts.

"The Marauders are going to notice if we do much to it. If they suddenly come here and it's... livable." Remus said. He'd drawn his wand, but had yet to use it. He was still wondering if it was a good thing to clean it up.

"Maybe we can just... meet in an abandoned class rooms. Or the hidden passage ways. They're all throughout the school."

Severus turned, dropping the tip of his wand down before he faced Remus. "Because it is far less likely that we'll be caught there," he murmured, sarcastic as ever, and tucked his wand away into his robes. If Remus did not want this place tidied up, well, that was his prerogative. The Shack was no place Severus wanted to be.

He tilted his head to the side, regarding a boy he spent most of the day with, and sat on the edge of the torn up bed.

The problem with all of the 'secret' places of the castle was that they were almost always occupied by hormonal witches and wizards trying to get a little privacy.

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. Why did this have to be so ridiculously hard? Well, he knew why. He just wasn't happy about. To say the least.

He came to sit next to Severus, after first mending the bed. He didn't want it to collapse or anything. Remus gave him a small smile. "I'm not happy about it, but here is better than no where. I'm sorry about you're spot at the lake. It was peaceful there." The Gryffindor said as he took the Slytherin's hand.

Severus watched Remus's fingers curl around his own before his gaze flickered towards his gold flecked brown eyes. He swallowed. It was hard to think when Lupin was so close. Why? What was doing that to him?

He really needed to do more research on werewolves, he thought to himself for the second time that day.

"Ought to be something better," he mumbled, heart fluttering again in his chest. He thought he ought to be more annoyed by these reactions, but he simply wasn't. "We can go looking tomorrow?" That solved the question of when they'd see each other next.

"We can at least try. I'll do some research on the castle." Remus paused. "I already have the layout."

He wasn't sure if the Marauders Map was something he could just talk about. It took ages to get the right spells to get that thing to work. But if they could use it to their advantage, so be it.

He turned his head to look at Severus and found himself, smiling. Again. Remus tried stopping, but the only thing he could think of was talking. "We'll have to try it in the morning. The castle's mainly dead on a Sunday morning." They could have practically free reign on the school with most people still in bed.

Severus could never smile as much as Remus managed to, and he didn't even try. He seemed just as sulky as ever, really, save for the glow to his eyes.

Meeting Remus in the morning meant less time alone. They'd even be poking around the castle for places to continue that 'not aloneness.' Though Remus had become quite a bit more than a friend, there was a happy swelling inside of him for that friendship.

Pulling their joined hands into his lap, Severus's cool fingers gently stroked his knuckles and wrist. They could not stay here all day Quidditch practice had to have been over by now. And Sirius Black was annoyingly good at locating his mate. They made plans on where to meet and Severus nodded. He doubted he could sleep anyhow.

Remus was grateful for the time he managed to spend with Severus. And he didn't have much of a problem smiling if he was genuinely happy. That was one good thing about the pranking - it tended to bring out the smiles in him and his friends.

He let the moments last as long as he possibly could. Parting wasn't particularly easy, but he at least had the hopes of the following day to look forward, plus the memory of the few hours he spent with Severus.

That night had been rather unremarkable, but what could really compare to the day he had. James noticed the silly grin on his face and Sirius taunted him for a good hour on what girl did Lupin shag that day. He kept his mouth closed, entirely too amused by the truth.

The following morning, he rose early - far earlier than the other Marauders, and slipped out unnoticed. Remus stopped by the Great Hall to grab breakfast, not sure if Severus did the same, he brought along sticky buns, eggs, toast, and pumpkin juice and then headed off to the meeting place.

Severus hadn't been able to eat. He hadn't been able to sleep. Paranoia was the game from the night before, carried on to the morning because Severus had arrived early and was, therefore, waiting for Remus. He expected all of the Marauders to jump out at him for snogging Remus, or expected no one to show up at all.

Seeing the werewolf...with sticky buns...made Severus sigh in audible relief. Who brought sticky buns to an ambush?

Curling his fingers against his palm, Severus headed towards the other boy at double time, stopping just short or running into him. He lifted his hand to place it on Remus's chest, hesitated, and then looked up into his eyes instead. "Morning', Lupin."

He rubbed sleepily at his eyes, but gave the other a small smile. Remus never thought he'd see the day Severus Snape would be nearly barreling down a hall to see him. "Morning, Snape." He looked back at him. "Brought breakfast in case you didn't eat."

He gestured towards the sticky buns and grinned. The rest was in his satchel, and honestly he was starving. It was nice to seem again, even if it'd only been less than twelve hours since he'd last seen him. But it was all he could think about.

His free hand when to lightly touch Severus' arm. He continued to look into the other's eyes, though trying not to get too captivated. After all breakfast called.

"Careful, at this rate you may as well have been sorted to Hufflepuff," he said, the tease there in his eyes even if his face was just as grumpy as ever. It took a bit of excercise to reverse that particular feature. He took the offered breakfast and nodded down the hall. There was a stone ledge at one of the large thick-paned glass windows two corridors down that they could perch on and eat.

Severus sat with his back against the glass, long legs folded beneath him as he regarded Remus not quite slyly enough out of the corner of his eye to not be caught.

He'd done so much reading the night before that his head actually ached. "What is this?" he finally asked, and then, because it sounded accusatory, he tried to soften up his words. "With you. Us. What's doin' it?"

Remus just shook his head. He liked doing nice things for friends. It was probably more so a way to not lose them by doing things for them, but Remus wasn't very much aware of that. He just knew he liked doing things if it made people happy. If he made people happy.

He took out the breakfast and sat next to him. His legs were tucked under him and he was leaning on the ledge. Remus had a mouth full of sticky buns when he looked back over at Severus. "What do you mean?" He asked, not sure what he was talking about. He did know he didn't like the tone.

Severus scooted a bit closer and mentally noted how he'd done that. It was not like him. He might enjoy Remus's company, but he was not the sort of boy to chase after a bit of affection. His pride generally forced him to lash out instead. Lily Evans: case and point.

Smooth fingers touched the back of Remus's hand. There! Another oddity! Severus snatched his hand back. "That," he mumbled, keeping his eyes downcast even as his fingers curled down against the werewolf's palm. "And...this."

It was almost obsessive.

Remus looked down at their hands and the proximity of the other boy. He grinned, but he wasn't sure exactly what he meant. What was he questioning? Remus thought they were over the idea that this was some spell or hoax or whatnot.

He shook his head as he looked up. "It is what it is." Remus said, trying to explain when he didn't know what he was asking.

Remus took another bite, and furrowed his brows. As far as he knew it just was the way he was feeling towards Severus. He hoped it was the same way.

Severus didn't think it was a spell at all, not anymore. He was almost positive it had to do with Remus being a werewolf. Severus could not, of course not, think he just managed to find a rare connection with another person.

"I'd like some of your hair," Severus said, not taking his hand back. In fact, he even moved a little closer still proximity to Lupin just made him want to be near. Severus, really, could only think clearly when they were apart, when his mind was not clouded by...this.

At least no one could see them, and if they did, well, Severus knew he'd just hex them anyhow. He couldn't help but think that this was slowly becoming a weakness, however.

"My theory is pheromones at the moment."

"My hair." He looked at him a little confused. What was he going to do with his hair?

And then realization dawned on him. "So you don't trust my feelings for you? You think this is because the full moon." He face was blank, his brows still furrowed. "No. While pheromones do have something to do with it, since I haven't tried to get you in bed, it isn't that. It may intensify things, but the beast doesn't pick things for me."

Although that would be a good excuse for why he was snogging a guy, but it didn't work quite like that. Remus knew too much about it to say that it did.

Severus smirked and pulled his hand back. "I understand Gryffindors are slow sometimes, but you don't need to bite my head off!" Severus countered, sliding off of the sill to put his hands on his waist and peer down at Remus. "The world does not revolve around you," he said, nasty because that was his fall back mechanism. "I am more concerned about me" he tried to point out. "You've mentioned my staring. Why? Why would I do that? And this! Oh, this is far worse. Anyone can walk by and see us--"

Severus paced, trying to think.

"I am certain it is your pheromones that are effecting the degree in which I show you favor," he muttered, scratching at his throat. "Above and beyond feelings, Lupin, don't go yelling that I feel nothing for you!"

Dear Merlin, can they have one day where they don't get into a fight over something? Remus just wanted a nice quiet morning of trouncing around the castle with the guy he was kind of, sort of seeing. But can he get that? No. Because whoever was controlling the universe hated him. Clearly.

He sat there and rolled his eyes. "I wasn't biting your head off, but you're sure quick to jump all over me. And of course you're thinking of yourself, you always do. Silly me for actually caring. I wasn't thinking the world revolved around me. I've gone out of my way to do things for you." Remus said, his own tone becoming hostile.

He was tired at being yelled at. Remus understood that that was how Severus was, but this was too far. "You can't just accept that whatever this is, just is. I don't think you have feelings for me, because all you ever do is think of you. Merlin, Snape." He grit his teeth and shoved more things into his bag.

"You don't want to like me, fine. Don't. Don't want to be around me, then bloody well sod off."

Remus hadn't listened, but then again, neither had Snape. He was bad at explaining himself, stumbling over what only mind readers could tell without a detailed explanation. 'Trying' wasn't working out.

This wasn't working out. Severus rocked back on his heels by the force of Lupin's words and furrowed his eyebrows.

How could he have expected anything less that this? Severus was angry, Perhaps not entirely rightly so, but he was a teenager. He was frustrated. He just wanted to snog Remus and find a place to practice his Patronus and Animagus spells!

"Stop it!" Yelling, really, was not the best way to go, but there he was, obviously suffering in the middle of the hallway. His emotions, which were never stable to begin with, were getting the best of him. Hence the appearance of the wand in his hand.

He was trying to listen, but he wasn't sure what Severus was on about. Him, pheromones, and everything was getting jumbled now. And he almost felt bad for what he said, but it was much easier to push someone away.

And the he saw the wand. "What? Are you going to hex me now? Back to that? You know I still have bruised ribs from you last week." Remus glared at him.

"You're the one being accusatory here. I'm merely reacting to everything your saying. Sorry for being human." He didn't draw his wand, but he felt it at his side. One movement and Remus would have at it.

"You're not human!" Severus cried out. Poor choice of words, but it was true. And it also opened Severus's eyes.

That was why. That was the whole reason why. Severus nearly dropped his wand as he stared at Remus. Always staring.

He could not trust people. There was not a single human being that Severus could possibly get close to. He laughed softly as he took a step towards Remus and closed his fingers in the other boy's collar.

"You're not human," he said again, pressing forward and upward until his lips met Remus's again. Oh, he'd probably get decked for it, but he was all right with that.

That was the whole point. He knew what he was and he wanted to see if Snape could even accept it. Despite the fact that Severus was now kissing him, Remus remained rigid. He took a step back, separating himself from him.

"And you can't get over it. It was ridiculous for me to even think anyone could even understand." Remus shifted his weight from one foot to another. With every word and action, Severus was only solidifying in his mind what Remus was always afraid of. But he wasn't going to deny what he was, and he couldn't stop being it.

"Shut it," Severus muttered, his arms still firmly around Remus's neck. "You know nothing." Again, hardly kind words. Severus was digging himself the hole for his own funeral, he just didn't realize it.

When Remus's arms did not come up to hold him back, it occurred to Snape that he was acting like a right bloody fool, throwing himself at someone that was more than likely trying to push him away.

He was heartbroken. He was, literally, shattered inside. Severus pulled back, casting around for a place to go, and fled.

This was both fortunate and unfortunate in different circumstances. Three corridors later and Snape bounced right off of Sirius Black's chest, falling to the floor. Black had been minutes from catching them together.

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Bed for me unfortunately :(

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