Just Causes

[spinnersending]

"Just Causes"
Who:  Severus Snape & Remus Lupin
When: 6th Year
Chapter One:  Here
Chapter Two: Here


Tomorrow night, this place would be filled with a beast tearing at itself until his friends could arrive to keep it calm and keep it company.  Tonight, there was a beast of a different sort in the room, one unnamed but just as fearful.  Swallowing, it was all that Severus could do to clean up as bit before Remus's mouth was on him again.

He laughed.  Laughed.  Mostly this was directed at himself for being so pathetically stupid.  All this time he could have been with Remus and instead, they had left each other feeling miserable over misunderstandings.

Severus was quiet.  Where they were going to do, he wasn't quite sure but he wanted to find out!

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Severus didn't mean to be so weak, but he clung to Remus just the same, pressing his face into the other boy's sweet smelling jumper. It was home, this particular feeling. Home anyhow he looked at it because this was all that he had now.

Everyone else was gone for him.

No one bothered them. Severus was able to get his crying done in relative peace.

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Remus continued to hold him, stroking his back lightly. He felt so helpless, not being able to do anything. He wished he could have been there for him at the funeral. It had been several days and Severus was all alone.

He wished they were back at the Shrieking Shack. Remus could have laid there with him for as long as he needed. However he didn't move. He'd stand there for as long as Severus needed.

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It took over half an hour for Severus to finally calm down. He pushed Remus away lightly, just so he could breathe, and left his head bowed even when his tears had dried.

"We spend too much time apart," he murmured, voice so thick with accent and pain and tears and exhaustion that it was hard to understand him. "Can we somewhere?"

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Remus stood there and nodded. "I don't know where to go. Aside from the Shack." He said, squeezing Severus' hand. He wanted to take him somewhere, but he didn't know where.

And why did Dumbledore's odd story about toilet paper suddenly pop into his head?

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"That's fine," Severus said, already standing up and collecting the books he had not actually been looking at. After shoving them in his satchel, and hardly caring at all about who might see him with Remus, Severus actually led the way out of the library.

We need some place better...

They got as far as the landing when Sirius and James's voice carried over. Severus stiffened and grabbed Remus's sleeve to lead him back towards an alcove in hopes that they'd pass.

Bloody hell, we really need some place better!

After a few minutes -- he didn't mind, though being caught pressed against Remus like this would not have been amusing -- they could creep back out and head down the stairs, the other two having left.

It would be so much easier if there was just someplace--

Severus's own thoughts stilled when he realized a door he'd never seen appeared in the wall as they passed the scones for the third time.

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Remus looked from Severus to the door that just appeared. "Bloody hell, Severus. This is exactly what I was just thinking. When I came back from St. Mungo's Dumbledore told me this odd story about needing the loo and one suddenly appeared and there was all this toilet paper." Remus said with a laugh as he hurried over to the room and threw open the door.

And then it made sense. This was the spot on the map that continuously fluctuated. Sometimes it was there, sometimes it wasn't. Sometimes it was big, sometimes it was a little room. This was nearly perfect. Remus and Severus would still have to be careful. If he was gone too long, the Marauders could always check their map.

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They could surely check but they'd never get in without the same intentions in their hearts. That wouldn't stop Sirius from grilling him. Especially when he saw that Remus and Snape were in the same place. Unmoving.

Severus frowned and looked passed Remus's shoulder. "A loo?" he asked, curious himself if they'd discovered a warp-around-Hogwarts bathroom filled with toilet paper.

Wouldn't that be something?

He did not find a room filled with paper at all but one with a bed and a desk and a small coffee and tea service. Severus arched an eyebrow.

"Looks like a professor's chambers."

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And that could be worse than actually catching them in the act. Remus never wanted his friends to dislike him, but at the same time he didn't want to lose Severus either. Sirius hassling him about it would put him in the middle and if Sirius didn't get it from him, he'd attempt to get it out of the other. With his fists.

Remus stepped in the room, deeming it safe. "It's awfully nice. Was this what you were thinking?" He asked coming over to the couch to sit down. He kicked off his shoes and sat back.

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"Yes, actually," Severus said, whispering just in case something...happened. He wasn't entirely sure what, but this was a bit nerve wracking. The door closed behind him and the fireplace lit up at once, making him take a step back.

He had no idea what this place was, but it was amazing. His eyes lit up as he took a poke around at everything, casting charms to be sure everything was of their truest nature.

It was strange to find no fault with anything and he grabbed a handful of biscuits before heading towards Remus.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

If Dumbledore had found no fault in this place, then neither would Remus. After all, this was probably the reason Dumbledore told the young werewolf. He knew about the two of them, of course he did. Albus Dumbledore just knew everything.

"If Dumbledore trusts this place, I think we're okay. I trust him with my life." Quite literal a statement that was. "Come here, sit by me."

Remus patted the spot softly and turned towards the fireplace. It was nice. Not just the room, but being able to spend time with Severus and not in the Shack. That place was still horrible.

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Yes, Severus would agree with that assessment. It was still so bloody. So disgusting. If he never had to go back, that would be ideal. And meeting here would be even more ideal.

Severus was a smart boy. Dumbledore wanted a bathroom, this room became a bathroom. They wanted a place to go where they could be together, and that's what happened.

Severus sat down against the plush green and orange striped couch, holding out his hand for Remus to take a biscuit. He couldn't remember when last he ate.

Ah, sorry. I replied, but then my power shut off, guess it didn't go through

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Lucky Snape had a choice or not to go back there. Remus had to go back every month and live his truest fear over and over again. If he never had to go back there, he wouldn't either. It's also why he never cared about cleaning it.

Remus took the proffered biscuit, not exactly hungry. He nibbled on the ends of it and sat back again. He let out a sigh and looked over at Severus. "At least we have this place now." He gave him his best attempt at a smile.

Boo power!

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Severus's disposition seemed much improved once he got a little bit of food in him. He nodded rather rapidly and chanced a smile at Lupin. Despite his mussed up hair and bruised face, it made him seem far less severe to be smiling like that.

Once again, Severus took the initiative and leaned in to kiss Remus's lips. Ah, it felt good. It felt good to be back. He kissed Remus more fervently after that, hands cleared of crumbs.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus wrapped an arm around him, feeling much more at ease now. He would have kissed him sooner, but there were biscuits involved, even if he wasn't that hungry. Still it was certainly welcomed. Remus leaned in softly at first, but he felt Severus deepen the kiss.

A hand slowly went down Severus' jumper, down his torso to hold him. It went back up to touch his cheek. He knew the pain the other boy was in and this was the only thing he could think of that would help.

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It hurt. Remus didn't mean it to, but Severus's skin was already bruised and overly sensitive. That did not stop him from pushing closer. He needed to know that this hadn't changed. So even if it was painful, he dud not want the other boy to stop.

Without much warning, Severus jumped on Remus, pushing him down against the arm rest and climbed on top of him with needy fingers and needier lips and tongue.

Laying flush against his chest, Severus's fingers gently moved through Remus's hair. It was getting long. He liked it.

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With the other boy on top of him, he felt more comfortable with proceeding. He wasn't sure about how bad he had been hurt, aside from the bruises on his face. Remus held him around the waist and slid down on the couch. He rather liked Severus being on top, though he could sense the desperation in the feverish kisses he was now giving.

Remus kissed him back just the same. His own hands were grasping onto him, wanting to be there for him as much as he could.

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It was just enough to content him, and Severus sighed, feeling that things had stabilized again. He wasn't desperate to get into Remus's pants, he knew that they could not stay, but this was good enough for tonight.

"I'll work harder on the fox," he said, not long after, mouth bright red from passion, "By the time we're out of here, I should have it mastered."

It was his way of letting Remus know that he wanted to stay. It was hard not to feel that way with Remus.

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Remus looked up at him and nodded. He had no doubt that Severus would have it mastered by then. He ran a hand up into the other's hair and kissed him softly. "You're staying with me over the summer. It'll be fine." His voice was firm, his mind made up.

If that is what happened after a few days, there was no way Remus could knowingly let the man he cared about walk into an abusive house. He wasn't sure how things were going to work with his parents. And the Marauders, if they found out. But Remus' conscious was stronger than that and his heart was too big.

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By the time Remus got back to the common room, Sirius was asleep in his own bed, snoring lightly. James was doing homework and once again, Peter was no where to be seen.

"Hey, Moon," James said, glancing over his glasses. "Out tutoring again?"

James didn't know exactly what was up, but he had a bit of an idea that Remus wasn't just up to no good. And he was well aware he'd taken the map after a conversation about Severus Snape.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus headed up to his room, and looked back at James as he spoke. Why where they constantly at him? Remus was trying his best to be sneaky. He wasn't a Slytherin though.

"Still catching up on some work. McGonagall wants an essay on beast to beast transfigurations." It wasn't a total lie. He did still have that essay due. Remus simply had a break.

That and he really didn't want Sirius to find out. It would crush him. Remus looked over at the sleeping form before putting on his night clothes. He stifled a yawn, trying to push out thoughts of Sirius.

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James frowned lightly. "You know we've never lied to you," he said, but let the matter drop. He pulled closed Sirius's curtains and charmed them not to open until Sirius said that James Potter was the smartest, handsomest and most athletic boy in the universe. He gave Remus just a little wink.

It wasn't said to make Remus feel guilty. It was simple truth. Very simple truth. Sirius was as transparent as they came. James only a little more mysterious. The most Peter had done was spend too much time as a rat sneaking food.

They were simple. But Remus...had secrets. And lies. And they knew it.

[hurleralalune.livejournal.com]

Remus always had secrets. And it wasn't always because he was afraid of what they'd think. It was just hard when he knew that telling them this would certainly tear things apart. He swallowed hard and looked up at the other Marauder.

"You don't know everything that is going on." He said, looking back at Sirius' bed. "It's far more complicated than I want, but I can't, okay. What do you want me to say?"

He could probably trust James more than the other two. Peter was sort of clueless and Sirius would attempt to kill either him or Snape. Remus couldn't bare to have Severus endure more pain, especially at his expense.

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"Me? I don't want you to say anything, Moony. Just letting you know that you've got the best mates around. We'd do anything for you." They already had, after all. "Even if what you've got now goes sour, we'll still be there. Good night!"

James and his profound wisdom. He hardly seemed like a person that might have it, but every once in a blue moon, he managed to say something telling and eloquent.

By morning, that was all forgotten, mostly because Sirius had woken up and was refusing to say the words to break the charm on his curtain and threatening to disembowel his friend.

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He gave up on it. If and when the shit hit the proverbial fan, Sirius would be the one reacting to it. And James? Chances are he'd take Sirius' side. Peter did whatever the majority wanted. So that left Lupin friendless. It's why he couldn't bare to tell them. To lose everything he had?

The next morning after listening to Sirius curse James out for a good twenty minutes, Lupin finally undid the charm Potter did on Black's bed. The four Marauders headed down to breakfast and it felt like old times again. Maybe Remus could really live two different lives. One with the Marauders and one with Severus. He was still the same person. He just needed to keep the Marauders - namely Sirius - away from Snape.

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It did work for the next week and a half. Severus and Remus practiced the animagus charms, though the Slytherin still was only able to produce fox ears -- a great achievement in so little time, but that didn't stop him from being frustrated. Sirius seemed none the wiser and returned to the way he had been acting before, as if he'd never had a conversation about fancying Remus. In fact, he even started to date someone fairly regularly and was constantly sneaking out of the Common Room.

"Have you heard if the draught's been released?" Severus asked, anxiously after they'd recovered from their second base tumbles the night before the full moon. He laid in their bed in the Room, sheets over his bright white skin from the waist down, propped up on his elbows. "I don't want you to tear yourself apart again."